Wow, did I really leave that previous whiney post at the top of the blog for a whole month? I guess I've been busier than I thought. Time really does fly.
Story #1
One of my patients today had his wife in the room with him. She is a retired nurse. Ahh! The woman was Old School. Yesterday, she wanted her nurse to come in and rub lotion on her husband's body RIGHT THEN. Now, while I believe skincare is important, I can understand why the staff kinda bumped that intervention to the bottom of the list. It's a busy floor with lots of heart patients. They were trying to get a whole bunch of new people settled into their rooms and started on their various IV meds. When they told the woman she would have to wait a while before a nurse could come rub him down with topical ointments, she became a wee bit hostile. When I picked him up as one of my patients today, all the staff said "Just be READY. The woman is relentless."
Of course, my day with this patient unfolded much differently than the staff predicted. I spent a while in the room talking with the pair of them. Apparently the nurse never showed up to give the skincare yesterday. They have been bandaging him with adhesives despite doctors orders not to. (And this guy has weird skin problems; if you put a bandaid him take it off again, it will remove a large chunk of his skin. Without the ointment he peels like an onion.) Their cardiac consult never showed up yesterday. All in all, they felt neglected.
I made sure to get the man bathed, treated his skin, and got him fresh linens. I talked with the woman about her heart problems, and how they made her too weak to care for her husband. She seemed relieved that SOMEONE was talking to her. And I didn't find her the least bit hostile this time around. Okay, so maybe she was a little bossy sometimes when it came to nursing things. But hey, I'm the student. I didn't mind.
Story #2
One of my groupmates doesn't get along with the rest.
I don't really understand why this is the case. At lunchtime we all sit together and chat, but she moves off to the side and stares straight ahead, not participating. When the group makes decisions she doesn't like (such as our move from two short hospital days to one long one), she makes her displeasure known in ways I find kindof... odd. I am trying to be delicate here; I honestly don't want to start typing bad things about her because she's been short with me a few times. I have heard several other students express a real dislike for her, and tend to believe they give accurate accounts of her behavior... but my goal isn't speak ill of her as much as it is to question why this situation exists in the first place.
It is obvious that she is a smart person. And when other people she knows walk through the hospital, she greets them with a warm smile and a hug. So she obviously has friends... how did we get on her bad side? When I ask her questions, her responses are terse and somewhat aloof. The group has ceased to try engaging her in conversation, because it really feels like she doesn't want to talk to us. Is this the truth of the matter? Does she exclude herself, or are we excluding her because we think that's what she wants?
I dislike judging people by the way they behave on the surface. It would be so easy just to write her off as arrogant and petty. Yet, in my experience, people who are cold on the outside are rarely coldhearted as well. Believing otherwise is dehumanizing. (Just look at this patient's wife I took care of in the first story: the whole floor was set against the woman. I only had to spend a little time with her to uncover the reason for her anger. Once solved, she was more than pleasant to talk to.)
I have faith that my groupmate is more than she appears to be, and that under that unfriendly surface she's as nice to talk to as anyone else. It's a kind of project for me. I am determined to get this girl to speak more than two words to me at a time. She doesn't have to be my friend, but it we be nice if she would work as my ally (God knows nurses need to help each other).
People are always telling me "Heather, you can't please everyone." And man, I know that is so true. However. I also like to add that "You may not be able to please everyone, but you can usually please a lot more people than you'd expect with just a tiny bit of extra effort."
Why do I continue to give that extra effort toward hostile people? I don't know, but I think of it as a Golden Rule type thing. Maybe the person is sour to the core. Maybe he or she will end up hating me for no reason. But then again, maybe they won't. I think it's worth it. At least I can always say I really tried.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
The Hardest Part of My Week.
This moment right here is the one I dread most. 1030 pm the night before clinicals. I picked out my patient at 11am and have been preparing most of the day. But no matter when I pick out the patient or how much time I give myself to prepare, I never manage to get to bed before 11pm.
That's usually not so bad, but I have to be up before 5am in order to get ready and commute. I pity my classmates that have to drive over an hour. After 10 pm, I start thinking of the time in "possible hours of sleep remaining".
I have just completed a pathology card, a bunch of drug cards, and a ridiculously meticulous set of care plans (that aren't nearly so strictly categorized in real life). I am ready to give a report on everything in the morning from memory. I am very tired. I am going to take a shower in about 3 minutes, then climb into bed and hope I fall asleep quickly. Sometimes that's hard to do, because my anxiety about needing to fall asleep as soon as possible keeps me from my goal. I get stuck in a quasi-conscious mental loop. Only thing to do then is get up and pace for a while until my brain untangles.
I'm not a bad student. (I ended up making an A on that last Patho test by the way.) But I feel like there is no way to be fully and comfortably prepared for any given day at the hospital. There aren't enough hours. Even if you start early, your requirements somehow expand to fill the time. (I admire those working-mom-students. How the hell do they do it?) I can only hope that I retain everything that I cram into my brain on nights like these, so it eventually becomes less work. I have the suspicion that won't happen, however. Just when you get comfortable in school, they start pushing you more. Instructor Sarcastic pushes me daily.
So. Bedtime. I could talk more, but I'd be cheating myself out of sleep.
That's usually not so bad, but I have to be up before 5am in order to get ready and commute. I pity my classmates that have to drive over an hour. After 10 pm, I start thinking of the time in "possible hours of sleep remaining".
I have just completed a pathology card, a bunch of drug cards, and a ridiculously meticulous set of care plans (that aren't nearly so strictly categorized in real life). I am ready to give a report on everything in the morning from memory. I am very tired. I am going to take a shower in about 3 minutes, then climb into bed and hope I fall asleep quickly. Sometimes that's hard to do, because my anxiety about needing to fall asleep as soon as possible keeps me from my goal. I get stuck in a quasi-conscious mental loop. Only thing to do then is get up and pace for a while until my brain untangles.
I'm not a bad student. (I ended up making an A on that last Patho test by the way.) But I feel like there is no way to be fully and comfortably prepared for any given day at the hospital. There aren't enough hours. Even if you start early, your requirements somehow expand to fill the time. (I admire those working-mom-students. How the hell do they do it?) I can only hope that I retain everything that I cram into my brain on nights like these, so it eventually becomes less work. I have the suspicion that won't happen, however. Just when you get comfortable in school, they start pushing you more. Instructor Sarcastic pushes me daily.
So. Bedtime. I could talk more, but I'd be cheating myself out of sleep.
Wednesday, February 8, 2006
My vein runneth over
Another day at the hospital. I've given tons of insulin sofar, handed out pills, hung fluids. Nothing new. But I'm super-jealous of my classmate; she got to start her first IV today!
The lady she stuck was such a good sport about it too, what with the five students and teacher all hovering over her. Very obvious we hadn't done it before. FYI, anytime someone asks if it's your first time to start an IV, you always say "Oh no, I've done this lots of times in the lab", which is true. (Or, like Carter on ER all those years ago... "I'd be disgusted to tell you how many time's I've done this." Ha.)
Plastic arms are great and all to practice on; you keep sticking them over and over and no one complains. But actually sticking a person's arm is very different. For one thing, blood comes out. Gotta push down on the vein or it will spurt all over the place. Which happened. Yipes! Also, needles hurt real people, veins roll, and those stupid safety needles can be cumbersome. But anyway, I'm just excited about the whole "new experience" thing. And after seeing someone else start the IV, I don't feel nearly as apprehensive about starting one myself. My classmate did really well.
Well, I have test on Friday. I'm about halfway through making my "study scroll". The process of rewriting things is helpful. Hopefully I'll make an A this time.
The lady she stuck was such a good sport about it too, what with the five students and teacher all hovering over her. Very obvious we hadn't done it before. FYI, anytime someone asks if it's your first time to start an IV, you always say "Oh no, I've done this lots of times in the lab", which is true. (Or, like Carter on ER all those years ago... "I'd be disgusted to tell you how many time's I've done this." Ha.)
Plastic arms are great and all to practice on; you keep sticking them over and over and no one complains. But actually sticking a person's arm is very different. For one thing, blood comes out. Gotta push down on the vein or it will spurt all over the place. Which happened. Yipes! Also, needles hurt real people, veins roll, and those stupid safety needles can be cumbersome. But anyway, I'm just excited about the whole "new experience" thing. And after seeing someone else start the IV, I don't feel nearly as apprehensive about starting one myself. My classmate did really well.
Well, I have test on Friday. I'm about halfway through making my "study scroll". The process of rewriting things is helpful. Hopefully I'll make an A this time.
Saturday, February 4, 2006
The Mysterious Scrolls
First test in each class went well enough. I did very well in Pharmacology and Lab, but only made an 84 in Med-Surg. (Not acceptable. Everyone always says C=RN, but I for one won't stand for less than B's. Going to have to change my study strategy.)
Everyone came out of the classroom with their eyes bugged out. "It was so hard!" Instructor Sarcastic grinned mischievously at these comments. She told me she was proud of my score, seeing as it was such a "good test". Argh! I asked my classmates about their grades. More than a few failed, and everyone else was in the 80's or so.... except for one of my good friends. She made a 104!! I was shocked, but very proud of her. I had to know her secret... how had she gained the advantage?
She and her partner looked at me with grins. "Butcher paper", they said.
"...What?"
I came over to their house later that evening to study. My friend went to the back to retrieve a tube of paper which she unfurled before me. The entire surface was covered in tiny, hand-written class notes. Drugs were organized by category and lines connected important information in a kind of hierarchy. The thing must have been 24 square feet. I was impressed. I can't see the thing being a useful reference in the classroom, but the very act of copying and visually organizing the information presented in the books and slides created an interesting mental map of the subject.
I laughed and asked if they planned to build an entire library over the semester. "You should hand them down to other students when you graduate. Call them the Mysterious Scrolls of the Second Order" (By which I was referring to the second level of clinicals). Of course, I have now purchased my own expanse of white paper to write notes on. It'll be an experiment for the next exam's material; can scroll-writing and diagramming help a visual learner like myself? We'll see.
I'm going to be honest, I have more than one motive for wanting to improve my grades. Sure, I want to be good at what I do. But part of me also wants to prove myself to Instructor Sarcastic. Most instructors say things to upset you once in a while. But when Instructor Sarcastic says them, I can really tell she's trying to push me, not discourage me. I just... like her. I don't want her to think of me as average. Whether or not she likes me back isn't such a big deal. But I want her respect. I want her to have confidence in me. She's one of those people you just want to please.
If I can earn her respect, I know I'll be a good nurse. If I set my standards at her level, I can't go wrong. Have any of you had a teacher like that before?
Everyone came out of the classroom with their eyes bugged out. "It was so hard!" Instructor Sarcastic grinned mischievously at these comments. She told me she was proud of my score, seeing as it was such a "good test". Argh! I asked my classmates about their grades. More than a few failed, and everyone else was in the 80's or so.... except for one of my good friends. She made a 104!! I was shocked, but very proud of her. I had to know her secret... how had she gained the advantage?
She and her partner looked at me with grins. "Butcher paper", they said.
"...What?"
I came over to their house later that evening to study. My friend went to the back to retrieve a tube of paper which she unfurled before me. The entire surface was covered in tiny, hand-written class notes. Drugs were organized by category and lines connected important information in a kind of hierarchy. The thing must have been 24 square feet. I was impressed. I can't see the thing being a useful reference in the classroom, but the very act of copying and visually organizing the information presented in the books and slides created an interesting mental map of the subject.
I laughed and asked if they planned to build an entire library over the semester. "You should hand them down to other students when you graduate. Call them the Mysterious Scrolls of the Second Order" (By which I was referring to the second level of clinicals). Of course, I have now purchased my own expanse of white paper to write notes on. It'll be an experiment for the next exam's material; can scroll-writing and diagramming help a visual learner like myself? We'll see.
I'm going to be honest, I have more than one motive for wanting to improve my grades. Sure, I want to be good at what I do. But part of me also wants to prove myself to Instructor Sarcastic. Most instructors say things to upset you once in a while. But when Instructor Sarcastic says them, I can really tell she's trying to push me, not discourage me. I just... like her. I don't want her to think of me as average. Whether or not she likes me back isn't such a big deal. But I want her respect. I want her to have confidence in me. She's one of those people you just want to please.
If I can earn her respect, I know I'll be a good nurse. If I set my standards at her level, I can't go wrong. Have any of you had a teacher like that before?
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Instructor Sarcastic
I thought I had to read a lot last semester. Yeesh! Now its nearly 300 pages a week! Seeing as one of my books is 2080 pages, this isn't that unreasonable. I settle down in the library after each class to trudge through the next day's chapters. Next week I have my first 3 tests. Pharmacology, Med-Surg, and the IV checkoff. I'm nervous, but I feel like I'm really going to master the material. My instructor is awesome. She's so sarcastic and impatient, but she makes me laugh.
I tripped over the projector cord today during a break. It shut down the whole computer and Powerpoint, so my teacher started waving her arms. "Heather! Why did you do that! I can't believe this! GAH!" I started pushing buttons and getting the thing rebooted, but she made sure everyone coming back into the room found out what I did. She kept flashing a grin at me to show she wasn't angry, but she took definite pleasure in her ranting and scowling at the crowd. The woman likes to pick on people.
For example, she likes to say things like "Does that arrangement sound good to you? Yes? Guess what if it doesn't. HAHAHA!"
She always implies that she doesn't care what you think. This isn't really the case, she cares very much for her students. But its a game with her, a game that amuses her greatly.
I find myself amused as well. I never thought I'd ever come to like someone so... spunky? Ah! I can't help but admire her! What with that sparkle in her eye, mischevious grin, and mind overflowing with knowledge. I'm glad I picked the hard teacher.
I hope I still feel that way after I take a few tests. ^_~
I tripped over the projector cord today during a break. It shut down the whole computer and Powerpoint, so my teacher started waving her arms. "Heather! Why did you do that! I can't believe this! GAH!" I started pushing buttons and getting the thing rebooted, but she made sure everyone coming back into the room found out what I did. She kept flashing a grin at me to show she wasn't angry, but she took definite pleasure in her ranting and scowling at the crowd. The woman likes to pick on people.
For example, she likes to say things like "Does that arrangement sound good to you? Yes? Guess what if it doesn't. HAHAHA!"
She always implies that she doesn't care what you think. This isn't really the case, she cares very much for her students. But its a game with her, a game that amuses her greatly.
I find myself amused as well. I never thought I'd ever come to like someone so... spunky? Ah! I can't help but admire her! What with that sparkle in her eye, mischevious grin, and mind overflowing with knowledge. I'm glad I picked the hard teacher.
I hope I still feel that way after I take a few tests. ^_~
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Ding! I Leveled Up.
Yes, the title is geeky. But you can hardly blame me... I've never hidden the fact that I am a part-time nerd. ^_^
This is my first week of Second Level!
This semester will focus on Med-Surg nursing. My new instructor is a short, spunky lady who is quite possibly one of the bluntest women I've ever met. One of my extremely inquisitive friends has already irritated her with too many questions, so my instructor has decided to limit her to 3 per day. This is of course sarcastic; she'll answer whatever questions need answering. But anytime my friend asks something the teacher finds superfluous, she throws up her hands and says something like "Lord, this is number two! You better be careful how you use you last one!"
What is different from first level sofar? I'll spend two days in the hospital instead of just one. I'm only taking 5 classes instead of 7, but one is Med-Surg theory and the other is Pharmacology. Argh! I've heard this called the "hard level" by many students. I'm not sure if that's because those who failed second level probably should have failed first but barely squeaked by, or because the teachers are harder on you, or if the material is fundamentally more difficult. (I can hardly credit the idea of Med-Surg being harder than critical care. Only time will tell, I'm sure.)
You know my Really Useful Page full of the all the scans and handouts from last semester? I went in to the first level BSN class today and gave all the students that website address. The teachers seemed thrilled about it (maybe I should have announced it to the class when they were still responsible for my grade?) but the students looked a little confused. I can only hope they actually make use of the thing, since it saves each person an average of $7.20, which means with 70 students... that's over $500.
I am only more determined to acquire official school webspace for this project so I can leave something behind for posterity.
So. I'll let you know how things go this next week. All of you who are aspiring nurses or techs or whatever... good luck with your new semester!
This is my first week of Second Level!
This semester will focus on Med-Surg nursing. My new instructor is a short, spunky lady who is quite possibly one of the bluntest women I've ever met. One of my extremely inquisitive friends has already irritated her with too many questions, so my instructor has decided to limit her to 3 per day. This is of course sarcastic; she'll answer whatever questions need answering. But anytime my friend asks something the teacher finds superfluous, she throws up her hands and says something like "Lord, this is number two! You better be careful how you use you last one!"
What is different from first level sofar? I'll spend two days in the hospital instead of just one. I'm only taking 5 classes instead of 7, but one is Med-Surg theory and the other is Pharmacology. Argh! I've heard this called the "hard level" by many students. I'm not sure if that's because those who failed second level probably should have failed first but barely squeaked by, or because the teachers are harder on you, or if the material is fundamentally more difficult. (I can hardly credit the idea of Med-Surg being harder than critical care. Only time will tell, I'm sure.)
You know my Really Useful Page full of the all the scans and handouts from last semester? I went in to the first level BSN class today and gave all the students that website address. The teachers seemed thrilled about it (maybe I should have announced it to the class when they were still responsible for my grade?) but the students looked a little confused. I can only hope they actually make use of the thing, since it saves each person an average of $7.20, which means with 70 students... that's over $500.
I am only more determined to acquire official school webspace for this project so I can leave something behind for posterity.
So. I'll let you know how things go this next week. All of you who are aspiring nurses or techs or whatever... good luck with your new semester!
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Extracurricular Surgery, then Finals.
Well, finals are over and I'm still alive. I managed four B's and three A's this semester... though 3 of those B's were 90 or 91% (remember, 92% is the lowest A). Not complaining though, I'm just glad to be on vacation!
The faculty was really nice during the last week. They brought us breakfast every day; sometimes donuts, sometimes catered stuff. My instructor made her delicious "chess cake"... which is basically tiny little cheesecake squares dusted in powdered sugar. Heavenly.
Last Saturday I had the most awesome experience.
A nurse anesthetist from my church asked me if I'd like to come shadow him at his job. I accepted and got up at 0600 to meet him at the hospital, and then stood next to him for four hours while two surgeons performed a hysterectomy. This nurse anesthetist showed me everything he was doing and explained all the equipment. He told me the names of the drugs he injected, what they acted on, what he was watching for to be sure all aspects were balanced. I gained a really detailed overview of his work. And on top of the learning, it was a very interesting surgery. I got to see this lady's uterus and intestines and stuff, it was so awesome!
I don't believe I mentioned the surgical observation experience that I had through the nursing school. Throughout the semester, students are rotated out for a single day in the OR. When I arrived for my assignment, all my classmates had already picked the most interesting cases. So I ended up observing 3 cataract surgeries, and was actually made queasy by the needle they used to inject the local anesthetic into the eye. I spent most of that morning sitting off to the side while the staff ignored me. A very boring day.
(I have no idea why the needle bothered me and the open abdomen didn't. I'm not squeamish, but they say at good third of students feel unexpectedly ill the first time they set foot in an OR. A large percentage faint, but thankfully I wasn't one of those.)
How awesome to get another chance to learn! And from someone with an advanced license! I know I want to go to grad school eventually, and while the lack of patient interaction in the OR seems a bit boring to me, I was really excited to see something new.
I gotta remember to write a thankyou note.
The faculty was really nice during the last week. They brought us breakfast every day; sometimes donuts, sometimes catered stuff. My instructor made her delicious "chess cake"... which is basically tiny little cheesecake squares dusted in powdered sugar. Heavenly.
Last Saturday I had the most awesome experience.
A nurse anesthetist from my church asked me if I'd like to come shadow him at his job. I accepted and got up at 0600 to meet him at the hospital, and then stood next to him for four hours while two surgeons performed a hysterectomy. This nurse anesthetist showed me everything he was doing and explained all the equipment. He told me the names of the drugs he injected, what they acted on, what he was watching for to be sure all aspects were balanced. I gained a really detailed overview of his work. And on top of the learning, it was a very interesting surgery. I got to see this lady's uterus and intestines and stuff, it was so awesome!
I don't believe I mentioned the surgical observation experience that I had through the nursing school. Throughout the semester, students are rotated out for a single day in the OR. When I arrived for my assignment, all my classmates had already picked the most interesting cases. So I ended up observing 3 cataract surgeries, and was actually made queasy by the needle they used to inject the local anesthetic into the eye. I spent most of that morning sitting off to the side while the staff ignored me. A very boring day.
(I have no idea why the needle bothered me and the open abdomen didn't. I'm not squeamish, but they say at good third of students feel unexpectedly ill the first time they set foot in an OR. A large percentage faint, but thankfully I wasn't one of those.)
How awesome to get another chance to learn! And from someone with an advanced license! I know I want to go to grad school eventually, and while the lack of patient interaction in the OR seems a bit boring to me, I was really excited to see something new.
I gotta remember to write a thankyou note.
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