Level Playing Field

FAIRNESS is the mantra of the chattering classes in this 21st century. As my sainted mother used to say: " Aye son, it's a gie ill-divided world". Of course, my mother was a child of the 20th century, since the millennium, it's all been about fairness, inclusion, levelling the playing field, fair shares for all, as the Guardianistas and the left-wing liberal chattering classes spread to the right, even invading the posh and awfully well-bred top people's party.

But football remains above all this fairness guff. Premier Leagues, be they Scottish or English are all about greed being good, the cheque book being king and might being right. So, when groups such as the SPL tinker with the rules, in the cause of fairness - they need not be surprised when the natives get restless.

The post-split fixtures were announced today and already there have been squeals, mostly, thus far, coming from the club which really should have Victim rather than a brewery's name splattered across their chests.

Get real chaps, if your heroes are as good as you think they are, and as far ahead of the pack as you believe them to be - not even six away games post-split should deny them the title. The other lot are, so we are told, running on empty, short of players and a poor second to the chosen ones on the eastern edge of the city.

If that's the case, stop whining, stop crying "conspiracy" - just win the games, and with them the title - simples.

I CANNOT really get excited about the PFA Scotland Player-of-the-Year short list. Let's be honest, this has been a less-than-sterling season. We had Kenny Miller scoring goals for fun in the first half, before trotting off to Turkey.

That apart, I would argue that the only player who has shown consistently-excellent form has been Alexei Eremenko of Kilmarnock. No harm to the other nominees, but, for me, it has to be the Finn with the Russian name. But, that's not to say he will win it.

Also, the award is voted-on by Scotland's footballers, remember, these are the guys who wear their IQs on their backs. I marginally prefer the longer-established Scottish Football Writers Association's award as the truer test of excellence, since it is voted-on by the critics. OK, some of have IQs inferior to their hat sizes, but, they are paid to compare players.

BIGOTRY and Sectarianism isn't, apparently, confined to Scotland. The Torygraph had a piece this morning about the use of the Y word - Yid, in English football, and in particular to some Arsenal fans' liking for referring to Spurs fans as Yids.

Of course, some Spurs has a long history of drawing support from London's Jewish population and indeed some of the club's fans also call themselves Yids, almost as a badge of pride, while apparently there is a Birmingham City "firm" named the Zulus. Makes our obsession with Huns and Tims seem all a wee bit petty somehow.

Perusing the comments section on the Torygraph's website, I found myself laughing at a poster with the nome de plume "joestrummer". I don't think he gets out too much, as he was arguing that there is no way Rangers' fans would be singing the traditional party songs and chanting FTP - given that Rangers apparently currently has a first team squad containing more Roman Catholics than Protestants. Of course Jock Stein, it seems, came from an "Orange" family, and apparently he, Bobby Evans and Bertie Peacock were all members of the same Masonic Lodge - if the old legend is to be believed, while there was a Protestant presence in the Lisbon Lions.

Maybe the English don't get the Scots' ability to not put people in boxes. As one of my mates said about Lorenzo Amoruso: "He's maybe a Pape, but he's oor Pape". Or as another tells the world: "I used tae be a Hun, but ah'm better noo". And finally, I cannot see a QC from a chamber in Lincoln's Inn Fields performing Derry's Walls as a karaoke number.

WEE piece on the BBC national news last night about the start of the new all-singing, all-dancing English Women's Super League, which will run through the summer. Since the ladies haven't been playing in the winter for ever, as we blokes have, they've realised the benefits of summer football, when it comes to quality of pitches, ability to play the passing game and getting new recruits to turn out for training and coaching in half-decent conditions.

When will our leaders in the men's game catch on?

By the way, how nice to see a clutch of our women's international team: Julie Fleeting, Jennifer Beattie and the likes, playing regularly in this new semi-professional women's league. This bodes well for the future of Scotland's women's team.