Rules for non-bedside nurses

We are very concerned about the nursing shortage in
America, if the paperwork nurses actually did some nursing, no shortage would exist.

1. Nurses that do not provide direct patient care on a daily basis should not develop policies for nurses that do. (Have you ever noticed how the policies for your nursing practice are written without any input from the people who have to carry out the policies?)

2. Nurses that do not provide direct patient care on a daily basis should not develop forms for nurses that do. (that way a nurse won't have to waste her time putting the VS on the flow sheet and the graphics form and a report sheet etc. etc. etc.)

3. Nurses that do not provide direct patient care on a daily basis should not represent nurses that do in any advertising portraying them as bedside nurses. If you don't do the job, you don't get to claim the glory. ( I don't know about you but I've never seen any of the people who are portrayed as nurses at my hospital or they are all directors and QRM people.)

4. Nurses that do not provide direct patient care on a daily basis should not ever speak for those that do. (It is not OK for QRM to tell admin that the ER nurses should do audits on every patient to see if they meet admission criteria.)

5. Nurses that do not provide direct patient care on a daily basis should not develop staffing guidelines since they have no clue how much work is involved in caring for patients in today's world, including filling out the myriad redundant forms developed by the nurses that do not provide direct patient care on a daily basis. (don't tell us we don't need tech's when you haven't worked at the bedside in 20 years.)

6. Nurses that do not provide direct patient care on a daily basis should not ever have a place on any committee or governmental agency that develop policy or have oversight over nurses that do. (JCAHO etc. needs to have practicing nurses so that someone can tell them how idiotic their policies are and help them actually do some good.)

7. All nursing staff should be required to perform clinical shifts on a regular basis so that they don't lose their skills which may be needed in times of surge capacity and so that they don't forget how hard nurses have to work.

If this sounds a bit bitter, it probably is. Thanks to the non-practicing nurses I now spend more than half my time filling out redundant forms rather than be at the bedside with my patient.