Business as Usual as a Pre-Med

You know you're a pre-med when:

1. You oscillate 1,832 times a day between being 100% sure this path is right and 100% sure you'll never make it.

2. If you had a dollar for everytime someone tried to talk you out of being a doctor (including family... WTF is that all about?), you could finance med school without any loans

3. Around the time of exams, you start thinking about how much you liked "insert whatever easy-A class here"... and how you could stop all this nonsense and just be a "insert an easy, creative, organic, granola-type job here".

4. You have wasted tons of money signing up for (and then postponing) the MCAT

5. The feeling of actually being near a patient and doctors in scrubs is equivalent to heroin.

6. You squint in the mirror when you get your lab coat for g-chem and pretend your a doctor

7. Your panic attacks before pre-med class exams are like panic attacks on steroids

8. You become an awfulizer. For instance... if I don't get an A on this exam, then there is NO WAY I can get an A in the class, which means my overall GPA won't be at least 3.6 in the sciences, which means I'll have to compensate with a 34 on the MCAT instead of just trying for a 31, which means I won't get to take the summer off this year because I'll have to study, which means I won't get to go to Europe with my boyfriend, which means he might not get a chance to propose to me, which means we might delay getting married until 3rd year of med school, which means I won't get to be pregnant until AFTER I finish residency (because you just CAN'T have a baby intern year), which means MY WHOLE LIFE DEPENDS ON THIS EXAM.

* This one is sort of specific to traditional pre-meds. Most non-trad pre-meds are over this one.

9. For non-trads, your educational debt going into med school is just as bad as the amount you'll accumulated in med school.

10. You are positively sure that you are 1) the dumbest person in class, 2) everyone else knows what's going on is getting perfect grades and 3) you shouldn't approach your professor for anything because he also knows #1 and #2