Ok, EFF Being PC. This is lame.

Friday I went to the Standardized Patient Clinic where we were supposed to perform a cardio exam. Instead, we got a 20 minute lecture on gown ethics from an SP who was clearly not comfortable being partially (or even minimally) naked in front of people. I mean, maybe if one of us aggressively pawed at her or touched her inappropriately the lecture would have been merited. But nobody had even touched or said anything.

Look folks, I GET that there is a needed threshold of sensitivity for dealing with patient modesty. And I GET that you don't just walk up to people and put your hands down their pants without introducing yourself. But seriously, I was annoyed. I'd really like to do a cardio exam, and I get a lecture about how you should never ever ever ever expose breast or nipple tissue. How you can listen to the A&P valves from the top of the gown, and the Mitral & Tricuspid from the bottom of the gown by rolling it up carefully. And a femoral pulse requires a delicate "tucking" of the gown up the leg. Then when I went to delicately "tuck" the gown I got yelled at for touching the gown. Apparently I am supposed to ask the patient to tuck her own gown.

The entire time I wanted to yell "Give me a fothermucking break!!!!" I don't have time for this. Personally I am not all that into naked chicks, but I had a very strong desire to rip this woman's gown off, judo chop her ass back to on the exam table and have my way with my stethoscope. Seriously? A quick cardio exam turned into 20 minutes of gown-tucking nonsense?? Right. I can just see me on the wards now. "Ella, why the EFF did it take you half an hour to determine that she had normal rate and rhythm?" Oh, sorry, I had to explain to her the gown folding procedure as to not expose any nipple tissue. That should go over well.