Hi everyone, I've been in quite a dilemma ever since starting my college career: I don't know what to do with myself. I am currently a junior in a private college and my current major is biology plus pre-dental. I've always been interested in science and medicine in general but lately, I have been regretting ever attempting to pursue a career related to science and medicine. I currently live at home - I suffer from some type of social anxiety which basically prohibits me from trying to uptake a life in the dorms. I observe my colleagues attending clubs, shadowing dentists/doctors, and communicating with professors while I just attend my classes and immediately head straight for home. I'm very intimidated by my professors and honestly, I feel mentally inferior to everyone - I always thought I was an intelligent child who could hold his own ground but I guess I was wrong. How am I supposed to receive recommendations from professors if I'm too nervous to even approach them? I really want to do something productive with my life but I fear that I lack potential - I want to contribute to society instead of leeching off of it. Sometimes I even question my very own existence - what's the point of my life? I have contemplated suicide many times but I do not want to inflict emotional harm upon my family, who cares about me very much. I just don't want to live with my parents for the rest of my life and not do anything productive - I want to do something but I just can't ... I guess you can say that I lack the motivation to do so. Hell, I even lack the motivation to tell my parents of my struggles and whatnot ... I don't want to upset them. Please excuse my rambling but can someone offer me any advice? I'm lost in life and I fear that I will remain that way forever.
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Hi Dan, I can truly identify with many of the details that you have stated in your question. I'm 35 years old, no wife or girlfriend, no children, with no full-time job, and still wondering what I'm going to do myself. In 2008, I graduated at the very top of my college class, SummaCumLaude, and obtained my license to teach Spanish to middle and high school students. However, in spite of two years of job searches, I get nowhere. For the first year, I was angry and very bitter about it. Now, I have grown to accept it for now, knowing that I have lost a battle, but I will win the war. A very smart person once told me that depression often is often anger turned inwardly. I can tell by your writing style that you are quite an intelligent, sensitive human being, and you sometimes feel bothered when having to deal with insensitive, rude, and thoughtless brutes that roam among us. My advice to you is this, and you can take it or leave it: 1. Finish the degree, even if you are bored with it; however, if you cannot find the energy or will to do so, take a year off from your studies, and experience the world. You can probably get a few sh!t jobs along the way to just make it, financially speaking, and then you can find yourself. 2. Listen to yourself as a whole human being. What is your conscience telling you? Do you listen to it? Can you actually hear it's voice in your mind? The physicians who take your money and give you "magic pills" in return do not have a vested interested in helping you attain a sound, peaceful mind! All they want is your MONEY! They have green fees to pay at the country club, daughters to put through college, and a nagging wife who wants a bigger house! And the only way they can make more money is to push more meds, all with the help of the local pharmaceutical rep, who also likes to buy the good ol' doc superbowl tickets for upping the amounts of SSRI drugs for his needy patients. 3. Don't worry about offending people all of the time, because they sure as heck don't worry about offending anybody else! Most people are insensitive jerks nowadays, and if they don't like you, then they're just going to have to get over it. Don't give yourself such a hard time. 4. For the people you do love, try going out of your way to do them a nice deed every week or two. 5. Watch this funny video on YouTube, and maybe it will lighten your spirits!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWIj_MeN-… Try to laugh at life, and find some joy! All the best.
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