10 Things Every Woman Should Know About a Man's Brain

10 Things Every Woman Should Know About a Man's Brain - Most popular notions about the male brain are based on studies of men ages 18 to 22 -- undergrads subjecting themselves to experiments for beer money or course credit. But a man's brain varies tremendously over his life span, quickly contradicting the image of the single-minded sex addict that circulates in mainstream consciousness.

From his wandering eye to his desire to mate for life, here's what you need to know about guys' minds

Most popular notions about the male brain are based on studies of men ages 18 to 22

More emotional

While females are usually considered the more emotional gender, infant boys are more emotionally reactive and expressive than infant girls, researchers have found.

Adult men have slightly stronger emotional reactions, too -- but only before they are aware of their feelings, found a 2008 study published in the Scandinavian Journal of Psychology that closely monitored facial expressions. Once the emotion reaches consciousness, however, men adopt a poker face.

When young, boys likely learn to hide emotions that culture considers "unmanly." But tamping down emotion also spurs the body's "fight or flight" response. A man's strong reaction and subsequent suppression may ready him to handle a threat, theorize the 2008 study researchers at Lund University in Sweden.

More vulnerable to loneliness

While loneliness can take a toll on everyone's health and brain, older men seem particularly vulnerable, said Dr. Louann Brizendine, a professor of clinical psychology at the University of California, San Francisco, and author of "The Male Brain" (Broadway, March 2010).

Men tend to reach out less than women, which exacerbates loneliness and the toll it takes on their brains' social circuits, she said.

Living with women may be particularly helpful. Men in stable relationships tend to be healthier, live longer and have hormone levels that may indicate decreased anxiety, studies have shown.

Women might also be good for a guy's gonads. Male mice living with females remained fertile longer than their isolated cousins, found a study published in the Biology of Reproduction in 2009.

Focused on solutions

While many studies suggest that women are more empathetic than men, Dr. Brizendine stresses this is not entirely true. The empathy system of the male brain does respond when someone is stressed or expressing a problem. But the "fix-it" region quickly takes over.

"This hub does a Google search of the entire brain to come up with a solution," said Brizendine. As a result, men tend to be more concerned with fixing a problem than showing solidarity in feeling, she said.

Hard-wired to check out women

While often linked to aggression and hostility, testosterone is also the hormone of the libido. And guys have six times the amount surging through their veins as women, said Pranjal Mehta, a social psychologist at Columbia University in New York.

Mehta and colleagues found that testosterone impairs the impulse-control region of the brain. While it has yet to be studied, this may explain why, as Brizendine says, men ogle women as if on "auto-pilot." They often forget about the woman once she is out of their visual field, Brizendine said.

Must defend turf

"Part of the male job, evolutionarily-speaking, is to defend turf," Brizendine said. More research is needed in humans but in other male mammals, the "defend my turf" brain area is larger than their female counterparts,' she said.

While women too have fits of possessiveness, men are much more likely to become violent when faced with a threat to their love life or territory, she said.

Who's boss?

An unstable hierarchy can cause men considerable anxiety, Brizendine said. But an established chain of command, such as that practiced by the military and many work places, reduces testosterone and curbs male aggression, she said.

Pre-occupation with establishing pecking order, which starts as early as age 6, motivates the "male dance, where they are always putting each other down," Brizendine added. "It is better to be aggressive in a verbal jab than to duke it out," she said.

The mature male brain

Over the course of evolution, men have needed to compete for status and mates while young and emphasize bonding and cooperation when mature, Mehta said.

Men seem to agree; and psychological studies have shown that one-upmanship holds less appeal for older men. Instead, they pay more attention to relationships and bettering the community, Brizendine said.

The change is likely aided by the slow natural decline in testosterone as a man ages. Mehta and colleagues found that men with high testosterone levels tend to be better at one-on-one competition, while those with lower levels excel at competitions requiring team cooperation. The study was published in the journal Hormones and Behavior in 2009.

The father-to-be

The male brain becomes especially primed for cooperation in the months before becoming a father. Fathers-to-be go through hormone changes -- prolactin goes up, testosterone goes down -- which likely encourage paternal behavior, found a 2000 study in Evolution and Human Behavior.

The pheromones of a pregnant woman may waft over to her mate to spur these changes, said Brizendine, who was not involved with the study.

The expecting mom might be repaying a favor: Even before she is pregnant, male pheromones cause good-mom neurons to sprout in the female brain, found a 2008 study published in the journal Hormones and Behavior.

Daddy-play

Daddy-specific ways of playing with their kids -- more rough-housing, more spontaneity, more teasing -- can help kids learn better, be more confidant, and prepare them for the real world, studies have shown. Also, involved dads lessen risky kids' sexual behavior.

Fathers that actively parent tend to have lower testosterone levels, report several cross-cultural studies. While it is not known if the hormone levels cause the behavior or vice versa, researchers theorize that evolution has favored involved dads. Human children are among the neediest of the animal kingdom and good dads optimize the chance that their offspring -- and their genes -- survive.

Covet wedding bells, too

Women want to settle down, and men want to sow their wild oats forever, the refrain usually goes. But this might be one of the largest misconceptions stemming from the U.S. tendency of using undergrads as test subjects.

Infidelities are most likely to occur before men hit 30, found a study of Bolivian men published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society in 2007. After that, men primarily focus on providing for their families, the study found.

Of course, some men have a harder time with commitment than others -- a problem which could be genetic, according to a 2008 study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science. Men without the "promiscuity gene," an estimated 60 percent of the population, are more likely to marry. But that's not all. Both they and their wives are also more likely to report relative marital bliss, the researchers found.

Unfortunately, the association is so small, said the study's lead researcher Hasse Walum of the Karolinska Institute in Sweden, "you can't use it for screening potential mates." ( LiveScience)

Is Kissing Dangerous... ???!.

Is Kissing Dangerous... ???!. “You’d better be careful whom you kiss,” I was told. I was in high school and infectious mononucleosis (also called mono) was “going around.” Kids missed school for a month; and everyone was told it was because “too many people were kissing too many people.” As it turns out, there were only two or three kids who had mono, and they didn’t even know each other. The rest of it was hysteria, rumor or myth. But I always wondered about “kissing disease,” as many called it. Was it really dangerous? Was kissing really so risky?

Mono is caused by infection with Epstein-Barr Virus (EBV). After exposure to EBV, there are usually no symptoms at all – in fact, up to 95 percent of adults have antibody evidence of past EBV infection even though the vast majority recalled no related illness. For reasons that remain unknown, only some people develop mono after exposure to EBV, with fatigue, headache, muscle or joint aches, fever, enlarged lymph nodes, and sore throat. While it is true that the virus is shed in the saliva and can be transmitted by kissing, mono is not a highly contagious illness and it can also be transmitted by other means, such as coughing or sneezing. Preventing the spread of EBV is not easy since there are often no symptoms. Even when there are, one may be contagious before the illness is recognized.

Other infections can cause illness resembling mono, including cytomegalovirus (CMV) and other viral infections. Blood tests usually can establish the diagnosis of mono when necessary.

There is no effective therapy for mono, although acetaminophen or ibuprofen and fluids can be helpful in relieving symptoms. The vast majority of people who have it recover completely within a week or two. Occasionally fatigue lasts more than month, but even then, a return to normal is expected. Because the spleen may become enlarged and could rupture if injured, persons with mono are advised to avoid contact sports for at least a month after recovery.

Infections related to kissing

During any exchange of bodily fluids, there is a risk of transmitting infectious agents. However, the body has defense systems in place to prevent infection, though these work better for some infections than others. For example, HIV and hepatitis B are relatively easy to transmit through sexual intercourse, while hepatitis C is not as readily spread sexually.

Similarly, some infections are harder to transmit through kissing than others. HIV is rarely (if ever) transmitted through kissing; when it does occur it probably relates to open sores in the mouth that allow exposure to blood, not just saliva. On the other hand, many other viral infections are easy to transmit by kissing: herpes simplex virus, the cause of cold sores or fever blisters, is a common example. In fact, the illnesses commonly transmitted by kissing, including mono, have a minimal impact on overall health.

The bottom line

While it is true that EBV is easy to transmit from one person to another through kissing, there is usually no recognized illness associated with the infection. Even when mono does follow, complete recovery in a short period is the rule. While “kissing disease” is real, kissing is rarely a danger to your health. ( msn.com )

Infertile women may have more sexual problems

Women undergoing treatment for infertility may be less satisfied with their sex lives and have a greater risk of sexual dysfunction than women with normal fertility, a small study suggests.

Researchers found that among 119 women seen at their infertility clinic, 40 percent scored low enough on a standard questionnaire of sexual function to put them at "high risk" of sexual dysfunction. That compared with 25 percent of 99 fertile women who were used as a control group.

Specifically, the infertility patients reported more problems with desire and arousal; they did not differ from fertile women in physical symptoms like vaginal dryness or pain during sex. Nor did they report more difficulty reaching orgasm, according to findings published in the journal Fertility and Sterility.

The study cannot point to the reasons for the findings, according to the researchers, led by Dr. Leah S. Millheiser of Stanford University Medical Center in California.

Past studies, they note, have found both infertility and its treatment can negatively affect women's and men's emotional well-being or create marital tension. In addition, couples trying to conceive may eventually feel the pressures of "sex-on-demand," which can drain their satisfaction with their sex lives, the researchers say.

In this study, women with fertility problems had a lower average score when it came to rating their sex-life satisfaction. And 34 percent said they'd had a decline in satisfaction since their infertility diagnosis.

The findings are based on 119 women who had been referred to the Stanford infertility clinic and 99 sexually active women in the same age range who were recruited from the university gynecology clinic. Both groups were similar in terms of average weight, education levels and racial and ethnic makeup.

All of the women completed a standard questionnaire on female sexual function; scores lower than 26.5 are considered to denote a high risk of sexual dysfunction. The average score in the infertility group was 27.1, compared with 28.7 among fertile women.

Forty percent of women with fertility problems scored low enough to be considered high-risk, versus one-quarter of fertile women. Infertile women also tended to have intercourse less often -- an average of seven times per month, compared with just over nine times per month for fertile women.

"With this study," Millheiser and her colleagues write, "we hope to highlight infertility as a potential risk factor for sexual dysfunction."

They add that further studies that measure additional factors like depression, marital problems and male partners' sexual function are needed. ( Reuters Health )

Men's love affair with leggy women is a myth - research

Men don't lust after long-legged women after all, according to new research. While many women would do anything to have a supermodel physique, those of more average proportions can take heart. Men, apparently, don't hanker after girls with legs that go on forever.

Or at least new research suggests that men's love affair with lengthy ladies is just a myth and that they actually prefer them a little less leggy,the Herald Sun reports.

To pin down the most attractive legs, UK researchers asked more than 1000 men and women to rate a series of images of female bodies.

Sorry Elle but men don't find your perfect pins all that appealing, or so they say / Supplied

In each case the females' legs were lengthened or shortened to alter their leg-to-body ratio but their overall height stayed the same.

While most women surveyed thought men lusted after longer legs, the University of Westminster research found men preferred women of average height - where their legs accounted for half of their overall height.

The findings back up research earlier this year that showed men preferred the shape of ordinary women, equivalent to dress size 14, than fashion models and Playboy centrefolds.

Tall women were seen by men as abnormal while extremely short women were surprisingly seen as unhealthy.

Men also said women with short bodies and very long legs were unattractive because they believed they might have trouble carrying a baby.

The men, by and large, preferred mid-length legs - that is legs that accounted for half of overall height.

The researchers found leg-to-body ratio was a crucial factor in determining how attracted men were to women, while men and women had very differing ideas of what was hot and what was not.

They also concluded clothes interfered with a woman's leg-to-body ratio, changing how attractive they were to men. ( news.com.au )

Love not enough to keep couples together

Age, previous relationships also are factors in whether marriage lasts . Living happily ever after needn't only be for fairy tales. Australian researchers have identified what it takes to keep a couple together, and it's a lot more than just being in love.

A couple's age, previous relationships and even whether they smoke or not are factors that influence whether their marriage is going to last, according to a study by researchers from the Australian National University.

The study, entitled "What's Love Got to Do With It," tracked nearly 2,500 couples — married or living together — from 2001 to 2007 to identify factors associated with those who remained together compared with those who divorced or separated.

It found that a husband who is nine or more years older than his wife is twice as likely to get divorced, as are husbands who get married before they turn 25.

Children also influence the longevity of a marriage or relationship, with one-fifth of couples who have kids before marriage — either from a previous relationship or in the same relationship — having separated compared to just nine percent of couples without children born before marriage.

Women who want children much more than their partners are also more likely to get a divorce.

A couple's parents also have a role to play in their own relationship, with the study showing some 16 percent of men and women whose parents ever separated or divorced experienced marital separation themselves compared to 10 percent for those whose parents did not separate.

Also, partners who are on their second or third marriage are 90 percent more likely to separate than spouses who are both in their first marriage.

Not surprisingly, money also plays a role, with up to 16 percent of respondents who indicated they were poor or where the husband — not the wife — was unemployed saying they had separated, compared with only nine percent of couples with healthy finances.

And couples where one partner, and not the other, smokes are also more likely to have a relationship that ends in failure.

Factors found to not significantly affect separation risk included the number and age of children born to a married couple, the wife's employment status and the number of years the couple had been employed.

The study was jointly written by Dr Rebecca Kippen and Professor Bruce Chapman from The Australian National University, and Dr Peng Yu from the Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs. ( Reuters.com )

Menopause - Traumatic Condition for Women

At the time of birth a baby girl possesses 2 million egg cells, by the time she hits puberty, and there are about 300,000 left. Out of these only 400/500 mature fully to be released in the menstrual cycle, the rest degenerate.

During the fertile years of a woman's life, the pituitary gland secretes hormones that cause a new egg to be released from its follicle every month. This follicle also increases the production of ESTROGEN and PROGESTERONE which line the lining of the uterus to receive and nourish a baby after conception .If this doesn't happen the levels of ESTROGEN and PROGESTERONE drop, breaking the lining of the uterus, causing menstruation.

Menopause

By the mid thirties the ovaries begin to decline in hormone production .In the late forties the process accelerates and hormones fluctuate more, resulting in irregular periods or heavy bleeding and by the early fifties periods stop altogether, resulting in menopause.

Menopause is considered complete when a woman doesn't bleed for 1 whole year. With the end of the menstrual cycle and the onset of menopause a woman loses her ability to conceive children.

There are mainly three kinds of menopause:

General Menopause

General menopause occurs at about age 50.but like the onset of menstruation its timing can vary from person to person. For ex. Women who smoke tend to reach menopause earlier than women who don't.

Premature Menopause/Surgical Menopause

Women who undergo operations to have both their ovaries removed surgically undergo such menopause. They are more likely to be affected by menopausal symptoms than those who experience it naturally; the reason for this is still to be known.

When only one ovary is removed menopause usually occurs naturally. When hysterectomy is done and ovaries remain, menstrual periods stop, however other menopausal symptoms occur at the same age as they would naturally. But some women who have had their uterus removed are liable to experience menopausal symptoms at a younger age.

Menopause Symptoms

• Frequent hot flashes

• Depression

• Memory problems

• Change in sleeping habits

• Mood swings

• Loss of sexual appetite

Menopause Treatment

Menopause is a period of transition in a woman's life; mostly women become depressed because they are unable to transgress into this territory. It is best to deal with menopause by coming to terms with it, accepting the change instead of fighting it, talking to loved ones, eating right and also taking hormone therapy and sometimes injecting PROGESTERONE and ESTROGEN synthetically. ( articlealley.com )

A Heart Attack Shouldn't Kill Your Sex Life

A Heart Attack Shouldn't Kill Your Sex Life

A Heart Attack Shouldn't Kill Your Sex Life. Surviving a heart attack can kill your sex life. But it doesn't have to, and a new study shows doctors play a key role in whether it does.

Patients were less likely to resume having sex if their doctors did not talk about when it was safe, the study found.

Many heart attack survivors fear that a tryst could land them back in the hospital - or even in the graveyard. But the chance of that is extremely small, doctors say.

"People perceive it might kill them. And it's not just the person with the heart attack, but also their partner," said Dr. Stacy Tessler Lindau, a gynecologist and sexuality researcher at the University of Chicago.

"If you can walk up two flights of stairs or do moderate exercise, then it's OK to have sex," she said.

Lindau led the study, the largest ever on this topic, and was to present results Friday at an American Heart Association conference in Washington.

It involved 1,184 male and 576 female heart attack survivors taking part in a bigger nationwide study, funded by the federal government. The average age was 60.

Less than half the men and only about a third of the women said advice about resuming sex was part of the instructions they got when leaving the hospital. Even fewer had that talk with their doctors over the next year.

One year after their heart attacks, more than two-thirds of the men and 40 percent of the women reported some sexual activity. They were 30 percent to 40 percent more likely to be having sex if they had talked with a doctor about it.

Men were more likely to be sexually active and married before the heart attack, and to maintain their sex life after it.

Some people actually reported more sex after their heart attacks, but this was the exception rather than the rule, Lindau said.

A heart attack should not keep people from enjoying sex, said Dr. Edward Havranek, a cardiologist at Denver Health Medical Center and leader of the Heart Association conference.

"The risk of having a heart attack during sex is really, really low," he said. "The amount of actual physical exertion people have during sex is actually lower than one might think. It's not as demanding as shoveling snow."

Doctors say it is safe to resume sex as soon as the patient feels better and can handle moderate exercise. Chest pain during sex means you should stop and consult a doctor, Lindau said.

Depression and mood swings are common after a heart attack and can dampen interest in sex, but this usually goes away within three months, says advice from the Heart Association.

It has these tips for resuming sex:

• Prepare by improving your physical condition and personal hygiene.
• Choose a time when you're rested, relaxed and free from daily stress.
• Wait one to three hours after eating a full meal.
• Pick a familiar, peaceful setting that's free from interruptions.

( Associated Press)

Why are girls reaching puberty younger ?

Why are girls reaching puberty younger?. The fact that girls are reaching puberty younger is a physiological phenomenon, with important emotional implications, says Cassandra Jardine.

Girls in Britain, and throughout the developed world, have been been reaching puberty younger and younger Photo: ALAMY

When I was 12, my pottery teacher invited me to a party. For a year or more – nothing to do with school – I had been learning to throw pots at his studio and I was flattered to be treated as a grown-up. Rather to my annoyance, my elder sister decided to chaperone me – rightly so, for the party turned out to be an orgy. Swiftly backing me out through the door, she asked the host why on earth he had invited someone so young. “I thought she was 18,” he replied.

It was an understandable mistake. In the late Sixties, not many girls reached their full height before they left primary school, as I did, or had other misleadingly adult paraphernalia. Many more of them were like my tiny Japanese best friend who still shopped for children’s shoes and looked a decade younger than me.

Nowadays, she would be the exception and I would no longer enjoy, even briefly, the compensation of being useful (solely because of my height) to the netball team. For girls in Britain, and throughout the developed world, have been reaching puberty at a younger and younger age.

The latest results among a group of 1,000 Danish children, in research conducted by Professor Anders Juul of Copenhagen University, a paediatric endocrinologist, showed that between 1991 and 2006 the average age of breast development – the first sign of impending puberty in girls – has come down from 10.88 to 9.86 years. For every worried 14-year-old who is still padding out her bra with socks, there is now an eight-year-old who is being taken, red-faced, to the lingerie department fitting room.

These children may have been tottering around like Suri Cruise in high heels from the age of three. They could be watching unsuitable programmes on television. But becoming apparently physically mature at an early age is still confusing, both for children and their parents.

“Young children should be concentrating on friendship and education,” says educational psychologist Madelene Portwood of Durham University. “This adds to the pressure on them to behave like adults.”

Early puberty is a physiological phenomenon, with important emotional implications for all those girls who are wandering around in adults’ bodies. These girls are towering over boys of their own age because, for girls, the growth spurt and development of breasts come first; periods come later. With boys, it is the other way round: their genitalia and sweaty armpits develop before their height shoots up. The last stage of the maturing process, when they are finally able to signal their manliness, comes when their voices break.

All these markers have been occurring steadily earlier for both boys and girls, but recent changes have been dramatic. In the 18th century, when Bach was directing the Leipzig choir, the average age at which a boy’s voice broke was 18. Choirmasters now have trouble finding trebles over the age of 13 or 14.

Parents of girls in Victorian times found it easier to prevent them becoming mothers at the age of 12, because they were hitting puberty at 15 – just before they were deemed ready to marry and start families. Girls are now having their first periods aged 13.1 years.

Over the past 15 years, girls have started having periods three months earlier; in the same time span boys’ development has dropped by a similar amount to 11.66 years. Happily, the earlier age of puberty is not, in itself, a reason to panic, says Professor David Bainbridge, a Cambridge University zoologist and author of Teenagers: A Natural History. “It is the result of a better diet. Puberty is triggered by GnRH (gonadotrophin-releasing hormone). This affects the pituitary gland, which releases neurotransmitters acting directly on the ovaries or testicles.

“In that respect we are like pigs, whose puberty can be controlled by how fat we make them, although not all animals operate in this way. With cows, it is being among other adults that triggers puberty. For ewes, it is the presence of a ram. In deer, puberty never occurs until they have survived two winters.”

It seems weight is our trigger, although genes play a part, too. Better nourished, taller and heavier, there seems to be a tipping point at which the hormonal changes begin. It may even be that weight in babyhood is the key to earlier puberty.

Encouragingly, there seems to be an age below which maturity does not descend. In the Netherlands – Europe’s tallest nation – the age of first periods in girls has reached a plateau at around 13 years old. That is likely to happen here, too.

The more worrying decrease in age is related specifically to the development of breasts in girls, which can now occur long before puberty. This could be linked to the increase in genital disorders in boys.

“Six per cent of baby boys have undescended testicles, one per cent have deformed penises,” says Professor Richard Sharpe of the Medical Research Council’s Human Reproductive Sciences Unit in Edinburgh. “One in six men now has a low sperm count, and testicular cancer is doubling every 20 years. I’m more convinced that these problems, and early breast development, have their origins early in life. The problem is assigning a cause.”

Various potential villains are being investigated. The pollution of drinking water by oestrogens derived from the contraceptive pill and HRT has been known for 20 years to cause hermaphroditism in fish. But, Sharpe points out, water is carbon-filtered before it returns to the tap, and very little oestrogen remains. Naturally occurring plant (phyto-) oestrogens could also be responsible, among them tea-tree oil used in anti-nit treatments. The finger has also been pointed at parabens – preservatives used in shampoos and sun tan lotions. So, preventing children from itching and burning could be causing other problems.

Bisphenol A, a component used in the lining of tin cans, children’s feeding bottles and plastic bottles, is another possible culprit. (The National Childbirth Trust offers advice: avoiding bottles with a number 7 in the triangle on the bottom is a start). Sharpe, however, is more concerned about phthalates, chemicals used to make plastic soft, durable and transparent.

Whatever is causing premature breast development and other anatomical anomalies – and Sharpe does not want to pre-empt studies due to be published later this year – more and more children are suffering the embarrassment that comes with looking like adults while they are still at primary school. Parents can try to delay the onset of puberty by helping children stay slim, but there will always be some who develop young. They need sensitive handling both at home, and at school.

While physical changes can be premature, the brain seems stuck on an immutable development timetable. “The distinctive brain changes of adolescence are not driven by hormones, they are an independent process,” says Prof Bainbridge. “The quest for autonomy, more complex thought process and the ability to think about other people: these start aged 12-14, as they always did. Whereas these used to occur before puberty, now they come afterwards.”

Children in adult bodies find it confusing, as I did. And the pressures now to act adult are greater. “My approach to working with children has changed,” says Portwood, “because not only are they physically sexualised earlier, emotionally they are more vulnerable than they were 20 years ago. When they used to stick with the same group of friends from nursery to secondary school, they had more support. Now they move more, and the extended family is not often around, we are seeing an increasing incidence of mental health issues, including anorexia and teen suicide.”

Most primary schools now have sanitary bins in girls’ lavatories. But that is not enough. They also need school counsellors, says Portwood, to help children who are confused by looking older than they are. Parents, too, should be careful not to treat them as teenagers. “They need to look at their emotional, not their physical, development. Children of 10, 11 and 12 may look grown-up, but they shouldn’t be treated as young adults or allowed to wear adult clothes.” ( telegraph.co.uk)

Why are Men Losing Interest in Sex ?

Why are men losing interest in sex?

Why men are losing interest in sex? (Getty Images)

The "Not tonight darling, I've got a headache" syndrome is usually associated with women when they're not in the mood, but lately the excuse is increasingly being used by men to put off sex, according to a survey.

The new poll by independent charity the Men's Health Forum has found that 15 per cent of men aged between 18 and 59 admitted to a "lack of interest in sex".

Relationship-counselling service Relate has revealed that there's a 40 percent increase in the number of men saying they had gone off sex, compared with 10 years ago.

All the above men with low libido don't face any physical problems; it's just that they do not want to have sex. Research has found that the growing trend of the drop in male desire is a direct result of women's changing role in society.

Men get overwhelmed with the modern woman, who is confident and comfortable with her own sexual needs and desires.

Apart from that men are bombarded with an overload of sexual images on the Internet, cable TV and in magazines, so much so, that it may be leading them to prefer the ever-ready fantasy to the reality.

Renowned Chicago-based relationships therapist Michele Weiner-Davis caused a furore in the US by claiming that at least 25 per cent of all men suffer from low desire.

It was, "America's best-kept secret," the Sun quoted her as saying. Michael Gilbert, author of The Disposable Male , said: "Western men feel marginalised.

"In a third of American homes where both partners work, women earn more than men. This tears at the fabric of male sexuality." And the problem is further worsened by the number of overworked men who are turning to alcohol to relax after work, and it has been revealed earlier that booze interferes with testosterone.

Phillip Hodson, a psychotherapist and author of Men: An Investigation Into The Emotional Male , said: "Sex is all about play. Libido comes out of a moment of idleness and down time. But British men work the longest hours in Europe. Sex and the clock don't go well together.

"Men drink because it's a short-cut to relaxation - but alcohol dampens the libido. ( indiatimes.com)

Healthy Sperm : Improving Your Fertility

Healthy sperm: Improving your fertility. Healthy sperm: What you can do that may increase your fertility. Do your sperm pass muster? Despite several months of effort, you and your partner haven't yet conceived. You're not ready to seek a fertility evaluation, but you might be wondering whether you're doing all you can to make sure you have healthy sperm.

Male fertility depends on sperm quality and quantity, which can be affected by a variety of things. While you may not be able to control all the factors that could improve your fertility, there are steps you can take to maximize your fertility and make sure your sperm are top performers.

What factors are linked to having healthy sperm?

To achieve its goal, sperm must have three things going for it:

• Quantity. You're most likely to be fertile if you have more than 20 million sperm per milliliter of semen. However, researchers are finding that having healthy sperm (the quality) may be just as important as the total amount of sperm you produce. Of the millions of sperm in the ejaculated semen, only about 200 actually reach the egg in a woman's fallopian tube. But, just one is needed to fertilize the egg.
• Quality. It's not enough just to have enough. Sperm shape and structure (morphology) are equally important. You are most likely to be fertile if more than one-third of your sperm are of normal shape and structure. A normal sperm has an oval head and a long tail that propel it forward. Sperm with large, small, tapered or crooked heads or kinky, curled or double tails are less likely to fertilize an egg.
• Motility. To reach the target, your sperm have to move. Riding the semen wave will only take the sperm so far. To reach the egg, sperm have to move on their own — wriggling and swimming the last few inches to reach and penetrate the egg. Sperm movement (motility) is an important characteristic of healthy sperm. You're most likely to be fertile if at least half of your sperm are moving.

What can you do to produce high-quality sperm?

It takes only one sperm cell to fertilize an egg. With millions of sperm vying for the chance, you'd think each act of intercourse between you and your partner would have excellent odds of resulting in pregnancy. In fact, it may take many attempts before you succeed, even if you're both healthy and your timing is right — that is, you have sex in the days leading up to ovulation when the egg is released from the ovary.

Here's what you can do to increase your chance of contributing enough hardy, energetic sperm to get the job done.

• Take a multivitamin. A daily multivitamin can help provide selenium, zinc and folic acid — trace nutrients that are important for optimal sperm production and function.
• Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. These foods are rich in antioxidants, which may help improve sperm health.
• Reduce stress. Stress might interfere with certain hormones needed to produce sperm. Stress can also decrease sexual function.
• Get regular exercise. Physical activity is good for reproductive health as well as your overall health. But don't overdo it. Men who exercise to exhaustion show a temporary change in hormone levels and a drop in sperm quality.
• Watch your weight. Too much or too little body fat may disrupt production of reproductive hormones, which can reduce your sperm count and increase your percentage of abnormal sperm. You're most likely to produce lots of high-quality sperm if you maintain a healthy weight.

Caution: Hazardous to sperm

Even under the best circumstances, only 50 to 70 percent of a man's sperm are healthy enough to fertilize an egg. Sperm can be especially vulnerable to environmental factors, such as exposure to excessive heat or toxic chemicals. To protect your fertility:

• Watch out for toxins. Experts think certain workplace and household substances might have an effect on sperm quantity and quality. These include heavy metals used in industrial workplaces, pesticides and chemicals in solvents. Use protective clothing, proper ventilation and face masks to reduce the risk of absorbing such toxins.
• Quit using tobacco. The sperm of men who smoke may be misshapen and may move more slowly than those of nonsmokers. Smoking can also damage your sperm's DNA. Experts suspect such damage could even affect a baby's growth and development and increase a child's chance of having certain health problems, including cancer. And chewing tobacco isn't safe either — it also may cause low sperm counts and damage. As if that weren't enough, tobacco use can increase erectile dysfunction. Research shows men who both smoke and drink alcohol have lower sperm counts and motility than do men with either habit alone.
• Limit alcohol. Heavy drinking may reduce the quality and quantity of sperm. Limit alcohol to no more than one or two drinks a day. The combination of tobacco and alcohol is particularly harmful.
• Steer clear of illicit drugs. Marijuana can decrease sperm density and motility and increase the number of abnormal sperm. Cocaine and opiates can contribute to erectile dysfunction, and amphetamines can decrease sex drive.
• Skip the tub. To maximize the quality and quantity of your sperm, avoid hot tubs and baths. Spending more than 30 minutes in water 102 F (40 C) or above may lower your sperm count. Saunas and steam rooms may have a similar effect.
• Avoid hormone havoc. Anabolic steroids, usually taken illegally, can shrink the testicles and drastically reduce fertility. Anti-androgens used to treat prostate enlargement and cancer interfere with sperm production. Testosterone supplements also decrease fertility.
• Stay cool. Increased scrotal temperature can hurt sperm production. Experts know that hot work environments, tight underpants, prolonged sitting and use of laptop computers can all increase scrotal temperature. They are still studying how these activities affect fertility.
• Avoid lubricants during sex. Personal lubricants, lotions and even saliva can interfere with sperm motility. However, vegetable-oil-based lubricants are okay.

Medications and fertility

Many medications can reduce your fertility. Medications that may affect fertility include:

• Medications to control a chronic condition such as high blood pressure, inflammatory bowel disease or gout, or to suppress your immune reaction to a transplanted organ. Ask your doctor how your treatment may affect sperm development.
• Chemotherapy drugs. These medications can cause permanent infertility. So can radiation treatment for cancer. If you'll be undergoing cancer treatment, talk with your doctor about saving and freezing your sperm (semen cryopreservation) before treatment.

Separating fact from fiction

A number of myths have made the rounds in recent years, including groundless rumors that menthol cigarettes and certain soft drinks can make men sterile. Here are some that turn out to be true:

• Fact: Bicycling can sabotage the system. Sitting on a bicycle saddle for more than 30 minutes at a time — especially if you also wear tight bicycle shorts — may raise your scrotal temperature and affect sperm production. In addition, prolonged cycling can cause genital numbness — a sign of damage to delicate nerves and arteries. Choose a seat that's not too hard or narrow, and make sure it's adjusted to keep weight on your "sit bones." Take frequent rests while biking.
• Fact: Pollution affects sperm. Experts think environmental toxins may have something to do with falling sperm counts. One culprit may be estrogen-like chemicals widely used in agriculture and industry. These substances are found in places ranging from drinking water to household products. Other environmental toxins that might affect male fertility are growth hormones present in meat.
• Fact: The flu slows sperm production. An illness that causes a fever can affect sperm production and sperm quality. But it won't affect fertility for two to three months, since it takes sperm 75 days to mature.
• Fact: The calendar also matters to men. Sperm counts are higher in the winter and lower in the summer. This may be because cooler temperatures are associated with increased sperm production. Sperm counts are also higher in the morning than at other times of day. However, experts aren't sure that time of day or time of year makes a notable difference in fertility.

Adopting healthy lifestyle practices to preserve your fertility — and avoiding things that can damage it — may improve your and your partner's chances of conceiving a child. But you still may not become a father on your first — or even 51st — try. If you and your partner haven't achieved a pregnancy after a year of unprotected intercourse, see your doctor and get a semen analysis. About 25 percent of couples have trouble conceiving at some point, and this number increases with age. Forty percent of infertility can be traced to the man alone, but often it's a combination of both the man and woman. A fertility specialist can identify the cause of the problem and provide treatments that may help place you and your partner on the road to parenthood. ( MayoClinic.com)

Back Pain During Pregnancy

Back pain during pregnancy. Back pain is a common complaint during pregnancy. Here's how to find relief. Back pain is a common complaint during pregnancy. And it's no wonder. You're gaining weight. You're walking in a new way. And your hormones are relaxing the muscles and ligaments throughout your body.

But you don't have to grin and bear it. Often, you can treat — or prevent — back pain during pregnancy with simple self-care strategies or complementary therapies.

Give back pain the boot

Consider these steps to ease back pain:

• Practice good posture. As your baby grows, your center of gravity shifts forward. As you compensate in some way to avoid falling forward, you may strain the muscles in your lower back — which can cause back pain. Enter the principles of good posture. Tuck your buttocks under, pull your shoulders back and downward, and stand straight and tall.
• Sit and stand with care. Sit with your feet slightly elevated. Choose a chair that supports your back or place a small pillow behind your lower back. Change position often, and avoid standing for long periods of time. If you must stand, rest one foot on a low step stool.
• Sleep on your side. Sleep on your side, not your back. Keep one or both knees bent. It may also help to place one pillow between your knees and another under your abdomen, or use a full-length body pillow.
• Lift properly. When lifting a small object, squat down and lift with your legs. Don't bend at the waist or lift with your back. And know your limits. Ask for help if you need it.
• Get the right gear. Wear low-heeled shoes with good arch support. Wear maternity pants with a low, supportive waistband. Consider using a maternity support belt.
• Try heat, cold or a back rub. Apply heat to your back. Soak in a warm bathtub or try a heating pad. Some women find relief by alternating ice packs with heat. Rubbing your back also may help. Better yet, ask someone to rub your back for you.
• Stay fit. Regular exercise can keep your back strong and may actually relieve back pain. With your health care provider's OK, try swimming, walking or riding a stationary bike.
• Try pelvic tilt exercises. Kneel on your hands and knees with your head in line with your back. Pull in your abdomen, arching your spine upward. Hold the position for several seconds, then relax your abdomen and back. Repeat five times, working gradually up to 10. Ask your health care provider about other stretching exercises, too.
• Consider complementary treatments. It's unclear how effective chiropractic care or acupuncture are at treating low back pain in pregnancy. But they may provide comfort for some women. These methods are likely safe during pregnancy — as long as you're receiving good prenatal care. Discuss your pain with your health care provider first, however, to make sure your back pain isn't caused by an underlying condition.

Acetaminophen (Tylenol, others) is safe to use during pregnancy, but other pain relievers — including aspirin and ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin, others) — are not. Check with your health care provider before taking any medication to treat your back pain.

Take back pain seriously

Back pain during pregnancy probably won't come as a surprise, but that doesn't mean you should ignore it. A low, dull backache may be a sign of preterm labor. And severe back pain or back pain that's accompanied by vaginal bleeding or discharge may indicate an underlying problem that needs attention. If you're concerned about your back pain, contact your health care provider right away. ( mayoclinic.com)

Could You Make Love to Your Husband Every Day for a Year ?

Could you make love to your husband every day for a year?. When Charla Muller told her friends what she was giving her husband Brad for his 40th birthday, she was met with a variety of responses - none remotely positive.

One thought she might have been going through a mid-life crisis of her own when she came up with the idea. Another questioned her sanity, and yet another asked bluntly: 'Were you drunk when you thought of this?'

What on earth could the gift have been? A particularly hideous pair of cufflinks that light up in the dark? A speedboat so expensive that it required selling the house? A session with a lapdancer? No, it was worse.

Life begins at 40: Charla Muller and her husband Brad

On the eve of Brad's birthday, Charla told him that his present was going to be sex with her every day for a year. She had wracked her brains to think of a gift that was original, intimate and - most importantly - memorable.

'I never wanted him to look back and ask himself: "Now, what was it Charla bought me for my 40th?"' she says. 'When I came up with the idea of daily sex for a year, I thought I'd hit the jackpot. What man wouldn't think that was the best present ever?'

What a pity not everyone - actually, not anyone, if we are being truthful - agreed.

'To be honest, I didn't tell my friends what I'd got him until halfway through the year,' says Charla. 'When I did, they were just incredulous, with most thinking that I was quite mad.

'One girlfriend said I must never, ever tell her husband what I was doing in case he got any ideas.

'What they took issue with most was the timescale. Some could see the merits in offering their husband daily sex for a week, perhaps a month. But a year? It was unthinkable.'

More disappointingly for Charla, the mother of two young children, even Brad thought the idea was a bit, well, unrealistic.

She had been expecting whoops of delight and much punching of the ceiling when she told him of his gift. Instead, she got sheer bafflement.

'Then, to my horror, he declined the whole thing, saying that he didn't want me to feel that I had to have sex with him - like it was some sort of duty,' says Charla. 'He actually walked away from me, saying we would discuss it later. I was quite deflated.'

Gosh, it is hard being a wife sometimes. All that effort and no one appreciates it. Still, Charla wasn't that easily dissuaded.

She eventually convinced the skeptical Brad that her offer was bona fide, and in July 2006 they embarked on what she would eventually dub the Dance Of The Daily Deed.

Unfortunately, the first night of Brad's gift coincided with a family holiday to her parents' home, which meant a house full of squawking babies, demanding toddlers and organised games (always a passionkiller).

'It was hardly conducive to that sort of thing,' she says. 'I did think: "What on earth am I doing?" And it wasn't the last time I would think that during the year.

'But I was pleased with myself for seeing it through. We'd never have considered doing something like that before, but once we did, we realised it's not that difficult.'

And so it would continue for an entire year. So successful was the venture - the couple don't claim a 100 per cent success rate but say they had sex roughly 28 days a month for 12 months - that Charla, a feisty American from North Carolina, was persuaded to write a book on the subject, 365 Nights: A Memoir Of Intimacy.

Coincidentally, it is not the only one on the subject. Another book recently published, Just Do It by Douglas Brown, chronicles his quest to have sex with his wife for 101 days.

Compared to Charla's longer challenge he got off lightly, but both books (available on Amazon in the UK) have caused a publishing phenomenon in the U.S., causing armies of married women to examine their own sex lives, or lack thereof.

What's interesting - and compelling - is that Charla is the most unlikely sex guru.

Church-going and cookie-baking, she exudes wholesomeness. Physically, she admits to being 'sturdily built' and is on the wrong side of 40.

'I'm hardly a sex kitten,' she says. 'But then, how many people are? That is the point.'

In fact, most of her book isn't about sex at all, but about all the stuff that gets in the way of it for married couples - loading the dishwasher, work, night-time TV, body image, bouts of depression and the fact you need to shave your legs, but really can't be bothered. Whether you regard it as a funny book or a tragic one will probably pend on your domestic status.

A newly-married woman who always finds time for waxing might read it and laugh, declaring she will never become one of those sad souls who has to schedule sex in the way she schedules PTA meetings.

But one who has been wed for ten, 15, or 20 years and who has spent more than her fair share of 3ams consoling a sick child is more likely weep in recognition of her own experiences.

And even if offering her husband sex every day for a year was a flippant gesture - which she says it wasn't - it made Charla re-examine every aspect of a marriage she had believed was solid.

As she puts it: 'By doing this I really questioned everything I had assumed about my marriage and asked myself: "Was it really that good before?"

'The answer was that it couldn't have been, because the sex side of things had slipped into oblivion - and I had been guilty of allowing that to happen.

'I am not the only woman I know who somehow made a career of dodging sex with my nice husband. The trouble is that I didn't even admit that to myself until we were well into this process.

'The big challenge then was if we could put things right.'

When they married ten years before the audacious birthday gift, it was all a little different.

She talks movingly of the early months of her marriage when she and Brad watched long married couples in restaurants - people with nothing to say to each other and clearly lacking in intimacy - and sneered at them.

'We did that old thing of saying we would never be like them. Intimacy was what our whole relationship was built on. How could it ever not be the foundation stone?'

And yet that is exactly what happened. Sex - once all-important - slid down the priority scale once their first child came along.

Eventually, it would languish right at the bottom - 'Somewhere below taking out the rubbish and unloading the dishwasher'.

Charla traces her ambivalence to sex back to being in the maternity ward after the birth of her first child when a fellow patient advised her to get the doctor to add a few weeks on to the 'no sex' recommendation on her discharge notes.

'That will buy you time,' the other woman advised. So began her 'career of dodging sex'.

'I can't say I hated sex with Brad,' says Charla. 'Actually, when we did it, it was mostly very nice. But it was just that I never felt compelled to do it very often. Something else would always get in the way.

'Obviously it's normal for women to lose their sex drive for a bit after children are born, but it was more than that. I didn't even have the desire to get it back. Worse, I didn't even see that we had a serious problem.'

When she went back to work - she was a high-flying PR executive - she tried desperately to have it all.

'I bought the myth,' she says. 'I thought I could have the hot marriage, great children and a rewarding job. Only now do I say to young women: "Maybe go for two of those, and see how far you get."

'I was naive. But most of us are. I was being pulled in so many directions: trying to impress at work, getting home to put a good meal on the table, helping the children with their homework, then getting round to the household chores once they were in bed. I found it exhausting and I was losing control.'

The final straw came when she returned to the corporate car park one night after work to discover that she had not only left her car keys in the ignition that morning, but left the engine running, too.

'I decided I couldn't go on and took a foot off that career ladder. I started to work just two days a week, which was a huge sacrifice for me. It meant giving up my prized corner office and training my replacement, which was a huge wrench.

'However, I knew that I couldn't continue as I had been doing.'

But what she didn't reflect on then - and, with hindsight, says she should have done - was that her sex life with her husband had become non-existent.

'There were times when the children were little that Brad and I did the deed only very occasionally. The year after my daughter was born you could count the occasions on two hands. Maybe one.

'I didn't see it as a problem, though, and I thought my husband agreed with me. I knew he would have preferred more sex, but he'd resigned himself to the "quality, not quantity" thing. Or so I thought.'

It wasn't until they were having regular sex that Brad confessed he had been deeply hurt by her constant rejections.

'He said he hated feeling that he was pleading for sex. I never thought of my rejecting that intimacy as rejecting him but, of course, it must have felt like that to Brad. Why didn't I see that then?

'I had always thought my marriage was so safe, so solid. I'd certainly never considered that Brad might stray, but he did confess to me that he understood why men would.

'That was a bit of a wake-up call for me. I thought: "How inconsiderate have I been here?" '

Mercifully, her book doesn't linger on what went on in the bedroom - 'I am quite prudish about being public about things like that' - but what comes across clearly is that it was a logistical nightmare.

'We did have to sit down with the wall planner going: "Well, we have that PTA meeting on Wednesday and you are away for business on Thursday, so we'll have to have sex on Monday evening and Tuesday morning."

'Brad was appalled at first. His view of sex was that it had to be spontaneous and of the moment.

'I always thought that was rubbish. How can it be spontaneous in the middle of family life? So we had to compromise a bit. As it went on, I scheduled it, but tried not to make him aware of how much I was scheduling it.'

Sometimes, making time for 'it' was straightforward. 'Some nights it was as simple as turning off the TV,' she says.

'Like so many couples, we'd fallen into the habit of watching some TV before bedtime. By the time we actually went to bed, we were shattered.

'When I started looking at this, though, I realised there was ample time for sex; we were just putting everything else first.

'I can't say that it was easy making all the effort. Sometimes it was awful. But I reasoned with myself that it was important. How many things do we do in a day that we don't necessarily want to - from going to work to washing the kitchen floor?

'I don't mean that I saw sex with my husband as a chore (although maybe I did some days), but I knew that it couldn't possibly always be the candle-scented, blissful experience we read about in magazines.'

That Charla and Brad stuck to his 40th birthday present for the year seems the biggest miracle of all.

At one point she talks hilariously of wanting to multi-task while having sex - 'I actually wanted to talk to him while we were doing it. I didn't see anything wrong with discussing the babysitter' - but Brad wasn't having any of it.

Other than that, the sex itself wasn't a disaster and didn't become jaded because of the frequency.

'Far from it,' says Charla. 'Because we were having sex so often, it actually took the pressure off, which was really liberating.'

Liberating? Some would say that Charla's offbeat project is the exact opposite.

Doesn't it smack of the advice meted out in Fifties manuals about being a good wife by meeting your husband's needs and to hell with your own?

She disagrees. 'I gained just as much from this as Brad and, if I'm honest, it was as much for me in the first place. I needed the boost in confidence it gave me.

'One of the saddest moments when I was thinking about my marriage was when I realised that sex with Brad was the only thing we shared that was unique to us.

'It was what made us more than roommates, and yet I was denying our marriage that aspect.'

But did it change their marriage for the better?

'It changed completely,' says Charla. 'We started being more attentive to each other, not just in bed, but about the trivial little things. Brad would offer to do some chore or run an errand, and I wouldn't be thinking he was doing it to gain sex points.

'We became so much closer. You can't have that sort of regular intimacy in bed without it spilling over into the rest of life.

'There was a lot less narking and sniping. You just can't do that all day then want to get into bed with the person at night.

'My self-confidence was greatly improved, too. I'd always been one of those women who told herself she would want sex more if she just lost 10lb and felt a bit more sexy.

'Now, I realise feeling sexy isn't about being thin or gorgeous. My husband desired me as I was - it was just a case of accepting that.'

What of the couple and their incredible sex life now the year has ended?

She cites one of her husband's observations as the best way to sum it all up. 'It was Brad who said that sex every day wasn't sustainable in a marriage, but nor was no sex at all. Now, I just say that we've got a balance in the middle.

'When my girlfriends ask if it's healthy to do it once a week, three times a week or whatever, I just tell them to do it twice as often as they are doing it at the moment.

'Their husbands will love them for it, and they might just find that they love themselves that little bit more, too. If they let themselves.' ( dailymail.co.uk)

Sex Addiction When Sleeping Beauty

Almelo, Bella Floor, a 32-year-old woman suffering from a strange disease addicted to sex when she was sleeping soundly. Bella always had sexual intercourse while asleep and not able to remember what happened when awake.

Behavior scared his girlfriend who was always embarrassed when he slept the night with him. Her boyfriend, Justin (47 years) is a construction worker, who can not accept the treatment of sex Bella, Bella own without knowing what he had done. Justin was finally broken up with Bella.

Bella women from Almelo, Netherlands was writing experience in a site which tells how 6 years ago not a single doctor who could diagnose his behavior.

Bella was later sentenced to suffer seksomnia or Sexual Behavior in Sleep (SBS) is having sex in a sleeping condition.

Some people who suffer from SBS had even entered the stage of addiction. And for his partner, it is very annoying, embarrassing and can lead to serious problems.

As reported by FOXNews, Thursday (10/12/2009), Bella initially suspected she could not control his behavior, but it did almost every night which makes his girlfriend very angry.

Bella had gone gone to many doctors and psychologists that they generally can not do anything because it had never heard of a case like this.

The doctor only offered drugs, in addition to hypnotherapy, sex and consultation brain scan to stop the disease's seksomnia.

According to Bella, the drugs are given only help temporarily, but he claims his life would not depend on these drugs.

In the International Classification of Sleep Disorders (ICSD-2), SBS categorized as a new sleeping sickness by practitioners sleeping medication and requires special diagnosis.

A person suffering from SBS usually know the habits of the couple's bed. Sometimes many of those who do not believe that this habit could happen to him.

This is usually the base of the conflict in the couple because the patient does not receive and feel ashamed to admit or accept this fact. Until now there has been no effective medicine that can cure this disease.

DetikHealth.com