A Question From A Reader

Your blog seems to be one of the few that really highlights the positive aspects of med school and the memorable moments. At first, this didn't really bother me, but the more I thought about it, I started to remember the numerous physicians I shadowed who said similar things. It seems like there's this ongoing inside joke between physicians who try to convince pre-meds to head in a different direction.

What's your take on this? Why do a lot of physicians seem bitter of their decision? Is this something you have noticed too? Or have I just met a bunch of unhappy professionals who unfortunately chose the wrong lifestyle. I understand that medical school is difficult and can often wear a student down, but does it do this to one permanently?

Wow. Indeed this is a huge topic to cover. I'll try to answer by hitting the main points.

1. First and foremost, I think there are a lot of people in this world (doctors or not) who have poor social skills and don't know when to keep their mouth shut.... and to not give unsolicited advice. Is there a shitty side to every job on earth? Pretty much. Are there pros and cons to every decision you make? Definitely. Is it your job to be discouraging to those who want to go into the field you happen to be in? Definitely not. By doing so, you are assuming that YOUR reasons for going into medicine are the same as everyone else's reasons to going into medicine. You are also assuming that everyone else has the same criteria as to what a "good life" is, etc. Of course there is nothing wrong with giving your honest opinion... but when asked advice about your field... saying flat out "don't do it" is simply arrogant and immature. If it was THAT bad, those physicians would have likely quit long ago. Additionally, some people just enjoy being miserable... and telling others about how miserable they are.

2. I think there are a lot of older physicians who are indeed miserable. They came into medicine during a time which it was much easier to get into medical school, physicians made huge amounts of money, and never had to deal with much of the bureaucracy docs have to deal with today. They came not because of a unquenchable desire to be a physician, but rather for money, or the "good life", or the prestige, or because it was what was expected of them. As things changed, they didn't like it.... and suddenly the lack of the things mentioned above made medicine less of a draw. These are the people that say "medicine isn't what it used to be". Not true. Medicine is the same and even better. Pay, red tape, competition, etc... those are the things that have changed. All med students today know that very well... since they had to put up with it just to get into med school... so they have a different perspective.

3. Sad as it may seem... there are people who like the eliteness of medicine... and newer, younger, better physicians with new ideas and energy are indeed a threat. They compensate for the fear of the threat by discouraging others. Fortunately I think these are few and far between. Most physicians get pretty stoked at the idea of younger folks being interested in medicine.

4. Here's the one you probably don't want to hear. There is indeed an element of "Oh shit have I wasted my life on medicine?" that tends to poke its way into my consciousness every now and then. While I know that I love medicine and the rigamarole that comes with it... I have lately been having fleeting thoughts of the following...'

• Oh crap I'm 32, a 2nd year med student, and for the most part alone in a world of 10,000 other doctors
• Did I come to med school because I love medicine or because I had something to prove?
• Holy shit, I am going to be working REALLY HARD for the rest of my life. Physically hard. Long hours. Sleep deprived. Stressed. Backaches.
• Did I sacrifice having a family, etc. thinking I wanted medicine more... because now I'm not so sure...
• Can I really do this? Effing acid/base bullshit on a patient without killing them?
• Fuck, can everybody stop bitching about medicine so I can enjoy my day please?
• Wait, you mean for the next 8-20 years I'm going to be disgustingly broke and low man on the totem poll?
• Hold up. When I said I didn't mind being alone in order to be a doctor, I never said anything about being ok with being lonely. This sucks.

I mean... these things definitely hit me at least once a day. But then I have patients and procedures and classes and discussions which immediately give me a sense of clarity that I made the right decision. A sense of feeling like I'm using my talents to the best of my ability and challenging myself, and that I'll never be stuck in a different job wishing I was a doctor. Because I know that if I'd have gotten married and had children years ago at the expense of being a physician, I likely would have had just as much regret or more for NOT following through.

I can't really give a definite answer. I guess I'll have to keep you posted. I can say though, that I've had this exact discussion with physicians who absolutely love their lives in medicine and assure me that I will too. We'll see.