Watching The Big Picture

WE have apparently stopped making things in Scotland. The best ships are no longer "Clyde-built"; the sun has surely stopped rising over Albion Motors; North British Loco lang syne ran out of puff.

Scotland, as was all-too-evident at The Emirates on Sunday, has also stopped producing top-flight footballers. We are in a raw state and what is happening? Well the Labour Party, for so long the inheritors of Sir William Wallace's late post as Guardian(s) of Scotland decided to embark on guarding us by trying its best to give everyone a government job, either as a civil servant, local authority employee or turning us into something memorably conjoured-up in an old Francie and Josie sketch: "sort of nobility - ra government peys us an allowance so as we don't hiv fur tae soil oor hauns wi toil" i.e. a statistic.

Our football clubs have gladly latched onto this social largesse, paying poor-quality players, quite a few of them non-Scots, a good living to demonstrate on a weekly basis: that while they can do brilliant headless chicken impressions, and they meet the first requirement for gaining a contract with an SPL side - that their second touch is a slide tackle in a desperate attempt to regain the possession they gave away with their first; they cannot trap a bag of cement; their spatial awareness is generally lacking; they can shoot, but not always hit even the goal frame; they cannot legally tackle anything more mobile than a fish supper.

We're in a mess. Arguably the two worst Old Firm squads ever have turned the SPL into a two-horse race. There is no money in the game (not that money is a panacea for all football's ills); the SFA commissions a Review, then, once its findings are published, because turkeys don't vote for Christmas, its findings are conveniently buried.

The great body of the football kirk, which has contributed nothing to the game for years does nothing in public, but is working feverishly behind the scenes to preserve their sole right - to exist.

And what, this spring of 2011, are the two main points of debate - that somebody threw a piece of fruit at a Brazilian and that some nasty Rangers fans sang some nasty songs, which were heard on TV and upset perhaps the most-influential religious body on earth.

Michty me, as Ma Broon might say.

Anent the banana: this one has me stumped. Throwing a banana just doesn't stack up with the usual behaviour of the Tartan Army. The fact it came from a section of the crowd which was almost 100% Brazilian also makes this a funny (peculiar rather than ha ha) one. Protests have been made on behalf of the good name of the TA, best leave it at that maybe.

Now, anent that sectarian singing, and I realise here I'm getting into perilous waters. Basically, in this year of the lord two thousand and eleven, why is there still a religious element invovled in Old Firm football? And what has guarding Derry's Walls or standing in the Fields of Athenry got to do with SCOTTISH Football anyway?

It beats me. I have seen no evidence of Rangers being formed as a "Protestant" club and while Celtic was certainly born in the Catholic faith and much of its early work involved lightening the lot of the (mainly Catholic) down-trodden of the East End of Glasgow, in its player recruitment policy it has always been non-denominational.

Rangers would I suggest need a very good advocate representing them to escape charges of, for much of its history, tacitly encouraging the support of those with an anti-Catholic agenda - but, since Sir David Murray took over, they have worked hard albeit still unsuccessfully, to eradicate any perceived anti-Catholic agenda within the club.

But, Rangers's pandering to Orangeism has I would suggest been more than matched by Celtic's historical playing of the "Oirish" card. If anything, I feel this has maybe grown somewhat in recent years.

When you see this, neutrals might think those singing that: "The Famine Is Over" might have a point (badly put though their point is).

Then there is the feeling, which I have heard voiced in some pubs in the admittedly "staunchly Protestant" former mining area where I live, that there is a cosey wee link-up between the Catholic Church, the Labour Party and Celtic. That when the Catholic Church makes noises about the Rangers' fans's sectarian singing, they are doing so on behalf of Celtic.

Given some of the scandals involving RC priests in recent years, it has been said, maybe that church should sort its own sinners out before turning on sinners from another faith.

Like wise, Celtic is now being increasingly seen as the opposition to the SFA. The SFA is by no means perfect, anything but in fact. But, Celtic has been a member of that body for over 120 years. The club has provided several important and influential administrators since 1888, so it is maybe a wee bit late in becoming a force for reform.

I know some sections of the Celtic "family" see themselves as the outsiders in Scottish football. Get real, you're some 70-odd trophies too late to play the "victim" card.

Both sides of the Old Firm need to be ever-more-vigilant in rooting-out the continuing cancerous element within their supporters. The battle will be a long one, but it can be won.

Celtic, certainly should be encouraged in their efforts to sort-out the failings of the SFA. But I suggest this mission would better be accomplished: "in the tent pishing oot, rather than oot o' the tent pishing in".

But, as Sunday at The Emirates showed - Scottish football has got bigger problems to overcome than sectarian singing from a fringe group of neanderthals - no matter how large.