In Deep %$#&

Holy crap. I'm in deep, well, crap. Financially, that is. Lets just say that every other academic year of my life I have been able to take summer school classes in order to qualify for financial aid to well, SURVIVE, until the next semester starts. I just assumed that I could do that now. Um, just tried to do so and was DENIED. The financial aid guy said unequivocally med students are not allowed to take summer school unless they are MD/MPH (a degree I already have, and therefore cannot get again).

So lets do a little math. I have money for April and about 1/2 of May (I'm short bc my car broke down on me TWICE this month totaling about $1000 to fix. YIKES!). I need approximately $1500 per month for rent ($895), utilities (+/-$200), a couple of old student loan payments ($200) and my cell phone ($70). Plus another $250 per month for food, gas, parking at school, and anything expendable I might need. So say $1750 per month for June, July, August, and 1/2 of May. That's um....$6,125

Where the EFF am I going to get that from?????

In between telling me the "good" news, the financial aid counselor suggested that I do what most students do.... get money from their parents. After telling him that that was no way plausible and hey, I'm 31 years old now... he hinted that I should ask anyway... he's sure that my parents "care" about me and would be willing to help out. After all, I AM a med student. Guess he's never heard of parents that can't just dole out $10k on a whim.

Now, silly me... I thought he was going to suggest I get a J-O-B... an old fashioned method of supporting oneself. The same method I've used for years... which until now has always solved my financial woes. Maybe I could write a book on these elusive so-called "jobs" and their usefulness, sell a million books and be rich! That would solve everything.

OTHER SOLUTIONS I'VE THOUGHT OF

1) Summer School - denied (see above)

2) Job - tricky

-Problem here is that school ENDS May 30 and STARTS July 15 (only 6 weeks off)... yet financial aid doesn't come in until the beginning of September. So if I work FULL time every day that I have off, I will likely only make about half the money I need.

-Not to mention, I have to take 4 (count 'em) physiology exams during those 6 weeks.

-PLUS who's going to hire me full-time for 6 weeks?

3) Wealthy Relatives - HAHAHAHAHA... wait... laughing... so much.. I ...hahhahhaah... can't ...type

4)Begging for change - I've heard the average pan-handler makes like $70 per day in metropolitan areas. That's TAX FREE baby. But it's also HARD GODDAMN WORK. Plus, the only place to pan-handle in the city is by the urban hospital complex... and my fellow classmates would see me. Maybe since this health-care bill passed I could wear my white coat while begging and I would be more believable. My sign could say "$300k in debt, unemployed, and working towards an MD. Why lie? I need groceries"

5) Robbing a bank - plausible, requires more thought and planning. Best solution thus far.

Me=so screwed it's laughable.

SIDENOTE: Out of REAL and SERIOUS concern, I went grocery shopping last night and bought a crap load of groceries and brought them home and FROZE them. Bread, milk, fruit, pot pies (hey, they're like 69 cents), etc. It's like planning for hurricane season. With electricity. Hopefully....