They Never Come Back

THE heading for this piece is, of course, a pearl of received wisdom from th boxing ring - subsequently disproved by "The Greatest", Muhamad Ali himself.

This week it seems wee Paul Hartley could be the latest sportsman to ignore the old boxing saw, by returning to Tynecastle - from where you may recall he was almost summarily ejected as one of "The Riccarton Three" - him, Craig Gordon and Stephen Pressley, who took umbrage with "Mad Vlad's" management methods.

Good luck to him in his efforts to get back home to Scotland after a less than stellar spell in Bristol. History is on Hartley's side, one of the few examples of a returning hero having a better second spell at a club is offered by 'Mr St Mirren' - Tony Fitzpatrick, whose career went: St Mirren - Bristol City - St Mirren, and whose second stay at Love Street in a playing sense, culminated in that 1987 Scottish Cup win.

But, honestly I cannot see Hartley's homecoming to Tynecastle ending on as high a note. Once one of the prime examples of the annoying wee Scottish winger, Paul has re-invented himself as a holding midfielder, rather well too. This is now, just about the key role in any team with hope of honours. I'm sorry though, I just feel that at 33, Hartley no longer has the engine to regularly play this role in the 150 mph, biff-bang, kick-and-chase world of the SPL.

He could, however, probably still do a job as player-coach and mentor in Hearts' reserve side, able to play occasional first team cameos in time of need - if the SPL still did reserve football.

It's not as if he's a world star, like Thierry Henry, who has just signed to play Major League Soccer in the USA for the New York Red Bulls - love these American club names, could it catch-on here: Glasgow Buckfast v Dundee OVD anyone?

Henry has moved Stateside thanks to the MLS system which allows a "marquee player", Henry in the Big Apple, Lord Beckham of Wembley in LA, paid a great deal more than his team mates, but expected to grow soccer's profile in his city and encourage the younger American players.

With respect to a Scottish internationalist, Hartley is hardly a "marquee" signing in Edinburgh, although he could be a father figure to the Hearts' kids.

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FOR me, one of the highlights of the World Cup was the "Bruzil" advertisements for our other national drink.

Sheer genius - only in Scotland would there be a goalkeeper named Didi (pronounced diddy, rather than deedee - the midfield genius of the 1958 Brazil team); Aberdeenio was another great name, but my favourite was Crawford Baptista - surely a homage to "Big Craw", that Brockville legend Crawford Baptie.

Many, many years ago, Big Craw played a blinder for Baillieston, as they beat Auchinleck Talbot in a Scottish Junior Cup semi-final at Rugby Park. Craw came into the press room afterwards and expressed surprise at the size of the Baillieston following and the decibels which erupted when they scored what proved to be the winner.

I had to tell him: that wasn't the roar of a big Baillieston following, more the roars of relief from the Cumnock fans, there to support the Central League side in a clear case of: "anyone but Talbot".