2000 ~ Year of Indecision ~ I spent the Millennium New Year's Eve being fantastically disappointed by party hopping in San Diego with people I didn't know well or didn't care about at all. All of my college friends were off traveling or home with their families, or at parties with people they were close with. I was in a sorority with many girls I didn't care about. Most years I stayed in my dorm alone (which was really my own apartment) during winter break... so the New Year was a big bust. I was a sophomore in college in a private San Diego University. I didn't know any better, and borrowed way too much to attend a mediocre liberal arts school and studied topics that never particularly interested me. I was single and for the first time ever living by myself as a grown up without roommates or parents. Which I really did love. A lot. I remember decorating. Curtains. Tapestries. Word Market. Pier One. Sewing pillows and painting pots. Susana and I were joined at the hip. We roller-bladed, pulled all night study sessions, smoked cigarettes, listened to Nat King Cole. At this point my thoughts of being a doctor were essentially limited to "maybe someday, probably not" by failing my first General Chemistry course (I had a C and didn't even show up for the final because of test anxiety). I had declared Political Science as my major not because I thought it was interesting, but because I thought it was reasonable, respectable and easy.... plus I got to spend a few months in DC.
2001 ~ Year of Italy~ I started studying Italian and found that I excelled at foreign languages. I wish I would have switched my major. That probably would have made college fantastically more interesting. Nevertheless I got A's in the first 2 semesters of Italian and spent the summer of '01 studying Italian in Perugia, Italy (same place Amanda Knox was convicted of murder). That trip changed my life, as I was 23 and it was my first trip out of the United States. I fell in love with Italy and my new found power of being able to speak a 2nd language. I drank hundreds of tiny cappuccinos, bought pasta in tiny country markets, took the train to Venice and Bologna and Rome and Capri, kissed Italian boys, and studied lots of Italian verbs on the veranda at the abbey I lived at. Reluctantly I eventually came home. Incidentally, that year I failed my first biology class as well (possibly because I only attended four times)... once again affirming that I was not going to be a physician. I was, however, elected to be Vice President of my school for the following year.
2002 ~ Year of Inspiration (and lots of Alcohol)~ Senior year of college... a little nuts to say the least. Didn't attend college much at all, in fact I didn't sleep and consumed enough alcohol to put on nearly 20 lbs. Despite all of that I met my college boyfriend Jake... who was the first boy ever I really "loved". (I guess) We graduated from college together and bought tickets to Brazil. We had a wonderful summer traveling around. While camping in the Amazon I came across an empty but beautiful white hospital building. There were banana palms and children and a huge red cross... and I then made a commitment that I now, officially, and desperately wanted to become a physician. That fall I began my post-bacc pre-med program at Harvard, lived in the South End in a pre-war brownstone with my best friend Michelle, and loved every minute of it. In Boston Michelle and I grew up. We were girls from a tiny California town, for the first time in an urban city on our own, beyond the protection of our parents or a University. We ate steamed clams and Italian food, took the subway, lunched in Harvard Square. The 20 lbs disappeared. There were hardwood floors and purple velvet drapes, ambulance sirens, cobblestones, scarves and pea-coats. It was incredible.
2003 ~ Year of Transition ~ Jake was headed to pharmacy school in Colorado and for whatever reason became unreasonably judgmental and jealous over things as insignificant as dental floss. We fought my entire year at Harvard, and finally after a "romantic" trip to Maui I broke things off with him. It ended pretty cleanly. By the summer I couldn't afford Harvard for one more minute and at 25, moved home with my parents to significantly less-sexy Phoenix. Although moving home was detrimental to my pride initially, I did get to spend time with my family. I also met the platonic love of my life. The first years I knew him we were inseparable. We finished O-Chem together, ate Thai food, drank hot chocolate and played scrabble, and lamented about pre-med and the woes of living with our parents after 25. We never dated, but we loved each other and our friendship changed me... and changed my values. I will forever cherish the time we spent together.
2004 ~ Year of Growing Up and Speaking Spanish~ I finished my pre-med classes (finally)... but was still a long way from being able to apply to medical school. I needed a paycheck. And an apartment of my own. I accepted a teaching job at an inner city Phoenix high school and moved to an uber-trendy area of downtown. My students also changed me. And my values. I went to quinceanera parties, learned spanish, taught chemistry, built a solar powered boat, practiced yoga, and found joy for the first time in employment. That year I started studying for the MCAT, and began dating Mr. Generous & Loving but Major Cultural Clash-this wont last. And it didn't.
2005 ~ Year of Katrina~ After a disastrous MCAT, I resigned from my teaching job and moved to the south to get my Masters degree in international health. I had visions of that empty white hospital building in the Amazon... and figured hey, if I can't be a physician... I might as well do something that will get me to the same place. Within 4 weeks of my MCAT results I was heading across country to my new home. And so was a hurricane. I beat her there by one day. I unloaded everything into my new apartment, grabbed a backpack with a swimsuit, 2 changes of clothes, my ipod and my travel wallet. After searching for a tank of gas for several hours I headed to Miami for what I thought would be a 2 or 3 day vacation. It turned into a 6-month vacation. I ended up driving from Miami all the way back to Phoenix and teaching at the same school I'd just resigned from. Looking back in life, this may be the only time I could say I actually "regret" a decision. I wish I would have traveled during the Katrina months. Gone to Europe. Something to take my mind off chaos. I had the money. I should have done it. I let others convince me it was a bad idea. It is said that depression ensues approximately 5 weeks after a major natural disaster. I would say that is correct. I battled with mourning my new city, my stagnation, uncertainty, and knowing I was not going to be a physician. That and I only had 3 pair of underwear.
2006 ~ Year of Tenacity ~ During this time (the evacuation) I'd met Mr. Sweet but Very Wrong for Me... and being the sweet guy that he was decided to temporarily accompany me back to the south once the city re-opened. That eventually turned into a 1.5 year Sweet but Very Wrong for Me relationship. On the first day of school in 2006, I met Dr. M, my beloved advisor who would encourage me on my path to become a physician... and who never doubted my capabilities or my tenacity. After discussing my career goals, I was convinced that I should switch from International Health to Tropical Medicine... a decision I will always be grateful for. That was much more interesting to me and it was my key to the medical school padlock. I began dating the MCAT. We went to coffee shops, had wonderful discussions and practice sessions, intellectual debates on quantum physics, and just sat around for hours on end together.
2007 ~ Year of Wonderful Things~ Dr. M had introduced me to some international malaria researchers, and I was invited to spend a summer working with them in Colombia. Which of course was amazing. I graduated from my Masters program after I returned, and had realized I had fallen in love with the south and the city I lived in. I took a research job assuming it would be temporary... but I ended up loving the job, my new single life, and the network of friends I had made over the past year. For the first time I had girlfriends who actually liked each other... which I discovered is significantly more fun than having 20 friends you only socialize with independently. I also finally had it out with the MCAT, and I won. At the end of 2007 I met Mr. Resident Physician, who turned into Boyfriend several months later.
2008 ~ Year of Insanity ~ Not sure if I was ever actually going to make it to medical school, I decided to move forward with other parts of my life. Boyfriend and I bought a house. An OLD house. Like 160 year old house. We ripped it apart and started re-building it in a way that looked historic but was modern in function. We had no idea all the things that would happen that year. A Lawsuit. A divorce. An aortic aneurism. Job lost. A murder. Three moves. Interviews. Friends lost. I got into medical school. After the insanity, exhausted by life, we packed up and moved to Miami and called it a day.
2009 ~ Year of Progress ~ After a few months of a Miami hiatus, we moved back to our house. Our old, under construction house. To one bedroom, one bathroom, and lots of walls which frame what will someday be our home. In January we huddled, cuddled, slept, and prepared to rebuild our lives after what seemed like MUCH more than we could handle had been delivered to our doorstep. February I was offered a job that I REALLY wanted as an epidemiologist. March brought a career gift better than was ever expected to my boyfriend. April brought love in the unexpected surprise package of our hound dog Luke. The year just kept getting better. I started medical school at the same school that my boyfriend is now a resident at. My brother took me to Japan for my 31st birthday. My boyfriend loves his job. I love medical school. Granted, we are broke beyond belief, we don't have a kitchen, we can't use the toaster and the hairdryer at the same time, our dishes are washed in the bathroom, and we are piled in this bedroom with our dog and a parakeet like sardines... but there are many things to be thankful for...
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