Saturday, August 14, 2010

Pre-destination

"HOLY" Willie Fisher, that 18th century Mauchline kirk elder, immortalised by Robert Burns, believed in pre-destination. This was a popular belief in the Church of Scotland at that time - that God sent one to Heaven and nine to Hell, willy-nilly, so you'd better appear good, to have a better chance of being the one in ten going upstairs at time up.

Pre-destination almost works in today's Scottish football. Being an old saddo, I spent a lot of time over the close season working out a post-war Scottish League table, taking the 65 seasons and turning them into one.

Eight of the season 2010-11 SPL Top Twelve are in this 1945-2010 top flight, in descending order the line-up is: Rangers, Celtic, Aberdeen, Hibernian, Heart of Midlothian, Motherwell, Dundee United, Dundee, St Mirren, Kilmarnock, Partick Thistle and Falkirk.

St Johnstone are in 14th spot, Hamilton Accies are 24th and Inverness Caledonian Thistle are 25th. Swap the Perth Saints for Dundee and Accies and the Highlanders for the bottom two and you have a finishing order for next May which is entirely possible.

I should add here, to avoid offending tender Edinburgh sensibilities, that Hibs are above Hearts because they've played more top-flight games, in terms of percentages of games won and points gained, Hearts are just ahead (43.2 to 40.4 per cent of games won, 53.7 to 50.5 per cent of points gained).

Therefore, if we accept that the Glasgow Boys will finish first and second, the rest are playing for third place, the fans ought to be accepting what Fergus McCann used to insist was a reality check about Scottish football.

Don't make noises about splitting the Old Firm - it has only happened once since the SPL was formed. If you're not a fan of a "City" club, don't go on about yours being "a Top Six team" - you're deluding yourself.

Instead, accept it will be tough, you're club is where it should be, and remember the words of Mick Jagger: "You can't always get what you want".

But, if your players and coaching staff try hard enough, you might get a pleasant surprise come May.

AND while I'm getting at the self-delusional, what about English players? This week we've had Wes Brown and Paul Robinson retiring from international football and David James and David Beckham being retired from the same. Fabio Capello, being Italian, probably does not understand, in England there is a way of handling such things - the two Davids should have received vellum long and distinguished service scrolls from the FA, while behind the scenes steps were taken to ensure James had his MBE up-graded to an OBE and Beckham finally got that knighthood the English football press pack have been touting for years.

The other two should have been pissed upon from a great height. Wes Brown has never been a first pick at Manchester United, but he would NEVER try the "pick me or I'm off" ultimatum to the Govan Godfather. Why then did he think it would work with Don Fabio?

Robinson might have more of a case. Sure, he's made his boobs on England duty, but, at Blackburn he has rebuilt his reputation. But, Joe Hart is the future and after so long as a club number one, Robinson is probably not inclined to go back to being an international back-up.

But, the British way is to turn up when your nation calls, not when it suits you, so Capello must keep the door closed.

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