Genital Herpes and a Crystal Ball

Oh, dear. Where to begin? Well for the 5th Saturday in a row I have worked at the student-run free clinic. And I've seen some interesting stuff. Tonsils the size of golf-balls, goiters, "Surprise you're pregnant!", gout, abscesses, etc. But today I diagnosed a 70 year old woman with genital herpes. She'd had it for 4o (F-O-U-R-T-Y!!!) years thinking it was a yeast infection and trying to treat it with Monistat.

Just so happened on my way home my mom and dad called (they always call as a speaker-phone "unit"). When they asked what I was doing, I told them about my patient.

My Mom's reaction was stellar.

MOM: You mean? You? You. Do THAT? They LET you do THAT? I mean, you? Wow. Oh. oh. OK. You just... you just really... you know... you... LOOKED?

ME: No Mom. Nowadays we have these cool doctor crystal balls. You just ask it for the diagnosis... and poof! It says "genital herpes"

MOM: Smart Ass

DAD: (in the background) I think I'd ask that crystal ball again until I got a different answer.

ME: Smart Ass.