Whats the deal with my Mom these days?

My mom offered to put money down for my car two years ago. She basically pushed until we allowed her to help us. We agreed to pay her back with income tax. Last year we paid her back 1800 of 3000. Now she says that part of the money was her bf's. Now she says we owe her more than we do. She's been blowing up our phones since Feb 1 asking when we were going to pay her back. I had already told her we hadnt even gotten his W2's! I also had already figured out that we werent getting enough back to pay her back &close on our new house. I told her this. I also need dental surgery. So yesterday she calls me then shows up at my house. I was washing my hair so I never heard the phone ring. She must not have knocked on my door either. My sister called me asking me where I was. I happened to see my cellphone light up. My mom had called her crying saying I refused to come to the door & that we just didn't care that she need that money. She already told me she wanted to go on a trip with it. She
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Sounds like there is a LOT MORE going on here than meets the eye with your mom. From a stranger looking on it appears that maybe your mom is under some additional pressures about this money that she isn't being completely up front about with you - or maybe can't? I think the only thing you can do is stick to YOUR end of the deal - pay her back when you originally said you would PERIOD! If she has some money issues that should not change what was decided and agreed upon between the two or four of you. If there are issues affecting her beyond what she is letting you know, then tell her you are sorry for her current difficulties and wish you could help but you are in no position to pay her back until tax returns come in - that's reasonable and what was originally agreed to. You aren't hiding from your obligation or responsibility towards her and let her know that. But try and be understanding and calm and cool headed and kind because it sounds to me like something IS GOING on with her and/or her life that she isn't able to share with you and it's obviously creating some HUGE emotional and/or monetary problems for her at the moment. Be patient with her - some times WE HAVE TO GROW up and become the parent to our parents when we become adults.... and that's normal and ok. SO be cool with it, stay calm and rational yourselves - that's the best thing you can do.
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