My very good friend has gone from 100 to 200 lbs (she's 5'1") in a little less than two years. She and a guy friend of ours got together about 6 years ago, and now they're engaged. He cooks really well and she loves his cooking, and while she kept it tight for a good long while, she has really packed on the pounds of late. Both of us are getting married in the next year or so and I know she's real unhappy with how much weight she's gained, and wants to look cute in her wedding gown for sure, but she's just not motivated and of course her fiance loves her for who she is. She's otherwise in a pretty good mood so I don't think she's depressed, just settling down into her marriage, but it's just so crazy unhealthy for her, even though people slow down sometimes when they find a mate this is just off the charts. I don't want to insult her by bringing up such a sensitive subject, but on the other hand she is killing herself. She's also lost a lot of her hygiene habits and sometimes even smells bad, doesn't wash her hair, quit taking care of her skin, and ever since she got a tooth knocked out falling down awhile back has started to look pretty bad. She used to be super cute and I know she misses her old self. I do, too. Now I know a MAN never tells his wife or fiance or girlfriend she's packing on the pounds. But can a fellow girlfriend? I am super concerned about saying anything directly. I mean, even for a close friend that's pretty darned rude, and it's not like she hasn't noticed she's gained 100 lbs! But maybe I can do SOMETHING, like invite her to join my gym? Too transparent? Also I don't want to make her feel bad since I am in good shape and there's no way she can keep up with me anymore in a game of racquetball or anything. What the heck am I gonna do for her without being totally obvious? I'd rather be rude than lose a friend, and she's killing herself. But is there a non-rude way to say it or do something? What works? What about the rest of her appearance, I want her to be happy with herself again - she needs dental surgery for her teeth now, for example? We all love her for who she is but I know the mirror isn't making her happy, and I want to do this sensitively. Thanks in advance for all your awesome stories about how you helped a friend in this situation.
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Well first of all, congrats on your engagement! I think you should say something like "hey, why don't me and you go to the gym some time? it'll be really fun! plus we can get in shape for summer and our weddings!!" also, as for the Hygiene situation, hit the spa or salon, it'll be fun and you can get some healthy beauty tips! Just be gentle when telling her and make it fun as well as healthy for you friend who you obviously really care about! Hope this helps! (:
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