The Journey Thus Far

ABOUT ME....

I'm a "non-traditional" student (I hate that designation by the way... because really, it just means that I'm not 22 and blindly entering the field of medicine because my father was an OBGYN). In my case it means that I'm starting medical school at 30 and have had quite the time trying to get here.

I always liked the idea of being a physician, but I could never quite get my mind around the idea of so many extra years of school, and the amount of hard work I'd have to do just to get into school. I was an average college student to begin with, and certainly not anything special in the sciences. In fact I started and either failed or dropped my first chemistry class about 20 times over (only a slight exaggeration). I did however, have enough of a taste of medicine to know that I was somewhat interested. I'd been a lifeguard, a paid on call firefighter, and had volunteered in a few ER's. I had the "rush" every time I walked in a hospital... that adrenaline feeling that said "This is freakin' awesome!"

I graduated with a BA in political science from an expensive private university in southern California and absolutely zero idea of what to do with it. By this time, medical school was still on my mind, but considering how many people shot down my plans... I was pretty convinced it would never happen.

I call this syndrome "pre-med-itis". It's a phenomenon where you are trying desperately to jump through the frustrating pre-med hoops (which is the most miserable thing on earth), and you are evermore fueled by the essentially never-ending line of people who so thoughtfully and insensitively suggest that you'll never make it. Either directly "Oh, GOD. Don't do it. Medicine isn't what it used to be." or "What's your science GPA? Oh, you'll never get in with that".... or sometimes less directly "Have you thought about nursing?" or "Oooo... so much school!".

Anyway, fueled by my desire to go to medical school and a somewhat defiant personality, I packed up what I owned in a minivan I borrowed from my Mom and headed out to Boston with my best friend Michelle. Big plans. No money. Michelle was law-school bound and I was med-school bound. I'd been accepted into the post-bacc pre-med program at Harvard University to take my pre-med classes. We rented a fabulous brownstone apartment and stayed for a year. I finished general biology and general chemistry before I really ran out of money and had to move home to Arizona with my parents. I finished my pre-med classes at Arizona State University and got a full time job teaching chemistry at an inner city Phoenix high school. I studied for the MCAT, took the MCAT and applied to 30 med schools. Yay I was going to med school!

Not so fast! AFTER my applications went in, I got my MCAT results. I was devastated to see a big 19. A 19? Is that possible? For reference, a perfect score is 45, and a competitive score is above 30. You probably wouldn't even be glanced at by even the worst schools without at least a 25. And I had a 19. I knew I wasn't going anywhere.

A SIDENOTE

Ok, here I'm going to rant a little about standardized exams. For those of you who have done poorly on the MCAT, the DAT, the PCAT, the LSAT, whatever.... you know that these exams have the ability to severely affect the way that you feel about yourself. Really the whole process is bullshit. These exams serve one purpose, and one purpose only. That is that they are a weeding out process so that schools have a reason to review only 2000 applications instead of the 15,000 they receive.

In my opinion:

The theoretical "Pro's" of Standardized Exams:

1) Show's discipline

BS. I know several people who never studied a day, are horrible procrastinators, and are overall terrible teammates and have a foul sense of follow-through and got a 38R first time. I also know (many) people who studied 10-16 hours a day for months and eat, slept, breathed the MCAT and ended up with a 21. #1 SHOT DOWN

2) Shows you can synthesize a large amount of material and be successfully tested on it.

Again. So subjective. Perhaps you are able to regurgitate some crap about the properties of ethers, but does that mean that you won't tell a patient with a 4th grade education that he has hepatic cirrhosis? (If you're thinking, "What's wrong with that?" you might fall into this category). #2 Weak

3) You'll need those principles in med school.

Um hmm. Exactly where in medical school do we use Kirchoff's circuit laws? #3 Whatever


OK BACK TO THE STORY

Luckily, in the middle of one of my indecisive moments about medical school I had applied to a few Master's programs and was accepted. I still held several acceptances and within two weeks I'd quit my job and moved to the South to get my MPH. After a 6 month delay because of Hurricane Katrina (that bitch), I started the program and loved it from day one. It was health, it was prevention, it was environment, it was medicine, it was treatment, it was wonderful and it made me want to go to medical school oh-so-much-more!

But I couldn't. All thoughts of medical school made me want to break out into dry heaves.... the shame, the shame.... I'd scored a 19! Surrounded by those overachieving MD/MPH's in my classes I didn't dare breathe that I too, wanted to be a physician. For certain their first question would be "What did you get on the MCAT?" I couldn't handle it.

Secretly, I studied again for the MCAT. I scored a 25. Better. But not good enough. However, the improvement in my score was enough to motivate me to study harder. I studied again, harder, longer, better. I knew every speck of material inside and out. I was ready. I bombed it. Third time wasn't a charm I guess.

Right after that I went to Cali, Colombia to complete a practicum project for my Masters degree. I'd been invited by a group of researchers who were conducting phase II clinical trials on a vaccine candidate for plasmodium vivax malaria. I had a blast. I learned tons of stuff and of course lots of spanish.

I graduated with my Masters right after I came home from Colombia, and started working in clinical research in gastroenterology. By this time I was REALLY over taking the MCAT. I decided to try one more time. This time I was emotionally out of fetal position and mentally laughing at the arbitrary nature of this test. I didn't study even a day. I took one or two full length exams the week before the test... but other than that, nothing.

I got a 28. Finally. Not a perfect score... but certainly enough to get me in. I spoke to the Dean of the medical school I worked at, and she said to apply. My stats were competitive for the school. I was surprised because I'd continuously heard that this school wouldn't even consider you without above a 3.7 and a 33 MCAT. Whatever. I'd take it. I applied, and was rejected. Not even an interview. I was devastated and felt so betrayed. Why all this talk from the Dean, the back and forth emails that assured me that I was in the competitive range? Why the smiles? I worked for this school, I graduated from this school, and now not even an interview.

By the following application cycle, I summoned enough courage to write the Dean a less than fluffy email stating my interest in applying again, and asking what on earth I should do to improve my application. I'll paraphrase (and Hollywood-ify) our exchange below.

Email # 1

Hi Dr. Dean,

Well, I've managed to talk myself off the ledge for the past eight months, and am now ready again take the elevator to the 117th floor. Is there any way you can tell me what I can possibly do to get into your freaking medical school. I've done everything except set myself on fire.

On the cold side but cordially,

Ella

Email #2

Dear Ella,

Of course I remember you!!!! Your scores and stats are fine. In fact, I marked your application for an interview. Why did you withdraw your application last year?

With love,

Dr. Dean

Email #3

Dear Dr. Dean,

Excuse me? I DID NOT withdraw my application last year. In fact I have a lovely rejection letter that proves it.

Lukewarmly,

Ella

Email #4

My dearest darling Ella,

Could you possibly make it in at your earliest convenience for a meeting?

Best friends forever,

Dr. Dean



So maybe the above emails aren't verbatim, but they convey the gist of what happened. The Dean (whom I actually do think is an amazing wonderful woman), asked me to apply again... so I did, and I was accepted during my interview.

The rest is history. I was accepted early in the 2008 application cycle for the 2009-2010 academic year.