Tuesday, May 31, 2011

can you add this to my paragraph?

I need to finish my paragraph with these details, can anyone help? C. His health was poor due to neglect 1.Lanky and pale 2.Crooked teeth, with bad dental hygiene 3.A sore on his ankle with no socks on i just dont know how to make it flow with my paragraph. The boy looked like as if he had never been cared for; his greasy fingers tugged nervously at his stringy uneven hair. His toe tapped on the pavement making a dull thud as more foot than shoe hit the pavement. Unkempt would be the nice way to put it, but it was worse than that. It was the boy's dirty face, the ill-fitting pants, the ridiculously oversized jacket–looking as if it had come directly from the dumpster–the dirty hands and face, ragged dirty fingernails. (thats my paragraph) anyways thanks and hope for you to help me
--------------------
The boy looked as if he had never been cared for; he was lanky and pale in appearance with greasy fingers that tugged nervously at his stringy uneven hair. His toe tapped on the pavement making a dull thud as more foot hit the pavement than of his shoe. He wore no socks and there was a sore visible on his ankle where his pants rose up. Unkempt would be the nice way to put it, but it was worse than that. It was the boy;s dirty face, the ill-fitting pants, and the ridiculously over-sized jacket that looked as if it had come directly from the dumpster. His hands and face were dirty, and his fingernails were ragged and dirty. He had crooked teeth and appeared to have bad dental hygiene habits.
Source

No comments:

Post a Comment