Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Should I end my relationship with my mom?

She is a very difficult person to get along with. She likes drama, to always be right, to know everything, to correct me even when I am right anyway and she enjoys embarrassing me. She was very verbally and emotional abusive to me. She stop buying me clothes when I was 10 except for 1 pair of shoes, 1 bag of panties and 1 bag of socks a year, but that was it. The ladies at church felt so bad for me because my mom didn't buy me bras that the took a collection for me ( i am top heavy) My mom has also thrown cooking rice at my head, moved a man into the house that she knew less than a month, would make me walk over 5 miles home from working late at night because she didn't feel like driving, tried to get me to have a baby for her when I was 15 because her tubes were tied. I paid for all my field trips except one myself. She would steal money from my room. She stole my entire paycheck, my tax return check, money in my piggy bank, money I hid from her, money my grandma gave me for my birthday. She prevented me from going to college. I applied to colleges paid the application fee myself. I picked the school I wanted to go to when my letters came back. I was sent all my forms and financial aid packet that my mom had to fill out. I paid my room security fee myself. My mother waited until it was passed the deadline for my fin aid packet to tell me she did not fill it out. Her reasons would change daily but the reason she gave at the time was I was not mentally able to deal with being away from her and Cali was way too far for me to go( lived in Pa). And I needed her to make my decisions for me because I could not do that for myself. My mother was a hands off mom, never helped me with homework, I had to go too her and if I didn't get it right away I was stupid and retarded. I would go in my room and cry myself to sleep hating God for making me so stupid. I rarely went to the dentist and once when she took me. I was 15 and was told I needed braces (Ray Charles could have seen that, my teeth were jacked up) With her insurance it would have cost 500. She went shopping with the money and told me if I wanted braces I could get them myself( I did when I was 23 minus dental insurance) I have worst stories than those. But, recently my mom called me asking me when was I going to give her my paycheck. I was like, what?! Then she makes up some story about me saying I would give her my entire paycheck. I get paid once every 2 weeks and had just sent her 200 to help with her bills. That she spent on BS. At this point I am ready to end my relationship with her. She is a complete user and only cares about money. She wrote me an email saying that's she is mad at me for not making her rich and she is mad at her grandfather for not making the family rich, so she can live like Paris Hilton. Every time I ask her for money she does not have any. My baby brother is in college and my mother has given him no money towards school. I pay it. She has watched me struggle financially for years and will try and guilt me into giving her money. She has opened a credit card in my name, a cell phone and tried to open a Target credit card in my brothers name. I have a lot of resentment and bitterness towards her. We never felt love from this woman and I am ready to be done with her.
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This woman is no mother she is a Leech, My father is simular on the money notion always making me feel bad for loving a dissabled man, it wasn't his fault he got runned over by a cement truck amd I love the man because of his perseveriance and loyalty to me. As for the teeth thing I am so right there with you I am 27 years old and was just told I have to get dentures. My folks split when I was 6 and I stayed with my father who is a Military captain who spent all hours working and then when he got home he got all dolled up and went to the bar almost every night and we always spent our time together eating dinner in our seperat rooms and no one ever taught me the importance of hygiene. I was forced to be a tom boy cause my father never let me pick out close for a girl unless I begged profussly. I have to laugh at the top heavy thing though cause my gym teach litterally chewed my father a new one when all the boys couldn't consentrait cause i never owned my 1st bra till 14 (now i am a 36 DD if you catch my drift there) I myself am wrestling with the idea of sueing my father for the dentures but he is stepping up to help but he wants me to go to Mexico for the fixing and not get dentures, but thats my own question for later Your mother seems like mine when I turned 18 I finnally moved in with my mom and she has treatened to kill me, she always has to point out my PERSONAL defects in public. I was just about to disown both of them for differant reasons at 23 but discovered the power of words is infinet, I wrote each a very long and drawn out letter (via e-mail) explaining everthing they did wrong and how it made me feel and told them if they didn't back off and shape up they would never see their grand son (who is now 6month) WE had all been told by my doctors that I would never have kids cause I have cancer. Grandchildren to parents is gold, if you were to tell your mother that what she has done to you is unforgivable but that she is your mother and you want to go by the 10 commandments and be able to honor her and not feel like running in horror when you see or hear her. But for you to honor her she has to shape up a bit and back off the $$ you earned it not her and if she wants money have her come over and clean your house or room or car. make her work for it and she will appreciate it alot better. Tell her if she can't love you for you and not the cash you make then you will have to go your seperate ways and when you deside to have children that you fear if she can't change you will not allow her to be apart of it. one thing I realized about mothers guilt trips, you are of her and you can throw a guilt trip just as good I can tell look what you wrote above its your turn to find that even the things you don't like about your mother lie somewhere inside you USE them she understands them I hope this helps feel free to e-mail me if youd like any tips on this I REALLY HAVE BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT.
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