Ok, So I've gotten to know this guy I really like who I met through my parents. I belong to a very orthodox family and being 23 and in a dental school (just to give some background) my parents introduced me to him and his parents not too long ago. I 've gotten to know him better and we both really like each other and even plan to marry each other some day. We currently are in a long distance relationship. At times when I am sad about something, he notices it immediately and inquires me about it. I always assure him that it does not pertain to him and that there is nothing wrong b/w him and I but that there are other things on mind that I am worried about such as the following. I have a lot of family problems not directly related to me but related to the people I live with such as parents, and other relatives, and these problems have been part of my life since the day I was born. I can't trust to tell him about these problems even though they have nothing to do with the person I am right now. But I feel that he is one of those close friends who can easily sense if there is something bothering me. I value his care and affection but when he asks me to tell him, I can't b/c I never have told anyone. At the same time even though I try to be more perky and lively, at some point in the telephone conversation he can always sense that there is something I am not telling him and he tells me it is frustrating that I don't tell him. I am scared to lose him. I don't want him to walk out of my life due to these problems but I need your guys advice on how to deal with this situation. What should I do? There are days when my day goes well and we love to talk with each other for hours, but when something happens at my house, an argument or fight of some sort (not related to me and I have to listen and be part of the situation) or other family issues , I can't be myself when I talk to him. I don't want this kind of issue to affect our relationship and I feel angry , helpless and frustrated at the same time. My parents never got along well and their relationship has greatly affected me negatively, but I have survived those rough times. Please help me!
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You don't have to tell him anything you don't want to. If you just tell him, there is something bothering me, but I'm not ready to talk about it, I'm sure he'll understand. Tell him things when you're ready, and it may help build trust between you guys. So, don't tell him WHAT is bothering you, but just something is bothering you but you aren't prepared to talk about it yet.
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