This is long, but I really need advice. How do I deal with my half sister, Ginger and my mom?

Ginger is 12 years younger than me and we had different childhoods. I never felt like mom wanted me when I was little. When I wanted to participate in the track team, she said she didn't want to drive 12 miles each way. My sister was a cheerleader, in soccer and mom had time for her even though she was working then! As adults, Ginger has... 1. borrowed money from family and not paid them back 2. took some of that money that was for rent money and went shopping 3. Skipped out on house rent 4. Skipped out on an apt. 5. Had an illigitimate child and said she doesn't want anything to do with the dad b/c it's too much trouble 6. Moved in w/ a guy planning to get married and got pregnant first before they married (both pregnancies-she swears she was on birth control) 7. She married him and said she was taking a late night class at the college for her job. She was really confiding about her marriage to some guy that was married, but says it wasn't an affair. 8. My mom moved in to help take care of the kids while Ginger is at work. 9. My mom tells me how hard Ginger works, how she's so busy and having an office in her car and in her purse is so funny. Ginger is an admin and shows commercial real estate to people and deals with brokers 10. Ginger went to one of her married bosses house and they dug up some plants for her. Strange??? 11. I couldn't afford to help with mom's dental work even though I paid of $3k for some two yrs ago. Somehow, Ginger came up with $1 12. She buys designer bags and carries them into Dallas all the time. 13. I just gave mom a Dooney and she said Ginger told her with all the purse snatchings going on in Dallas, she shouldn't carry it much. They live outside of Dallas in a small town and mom only goes to the school and the local store! Why do I feel like crap when mom tells me what a great job Ginger has and how hard she works? Is it my imagination that Ginger is as bad as I think she is or since all that is in the past, she's good now? I'm ready to disown them!!! Help
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It sounds like your mom favored Ginger, and simply gave her whatever she wanted. Perhaps she wasn't ready to have a child when you were born, but 12 years later she was, or maybe if you and Ginger have different fathers, that's it. While I'm sure that was painful for you, you probably got the better end of the deal. It sounds like your mother's coddling Ginger led to her to expect life to be handed to her, and as a result she became incredibly irresponsible. There's simply no excuse for things like taking rent money out shopping (unless of course she was out shopping for food because she hadn't eaten in days, but that seems unlikely from the context), or choosing to have a child and then ditching the father because "it's too much trouble." It sounds like your mother doesn't value your contributions, whether financial or emotional, and quite possibly Ginger's deliberately sabotaging you behind your back. If Ginger's really carrying designer bags around Dallas, it seems unlikely that she's honestly concerned about your mom getting ripped off in a small town. If it's convenient for you to keep helping your mother out do so, but never forget that you have to take care of yourself before you can help others. If she doesn't appreciate your help, stop offering it, especially if it's hurting you to do so.
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